A Wild Kecleon Reviews
by Kecleon352
Summary: A Kecleon who's bored out of his mind decides to try something different. Rather than write his own fanfics like every other author, he'll read other people's fanfics and rate them on how well they're written, as well as other random things he can think of. (Inspired by The Angry Bug Show by DragonNiro.)
1. Chapter 1

*screen shows static, before switching to an image of a green Kecleon wearing black headphones and a sky-blue scarf sitting in front of a desk in what appears to be a bedroom*

Howdy, everyone! My name is Kec the Kecleon! For those of you who never seen me before, hello! For those few of you who have, welcome back! Honestly, it's great to be writing again, especially since I've been having...issues on my end. If you wanna know more, then just read my confessional down at the end of the chapter. I'll try to explain everything as well as I can.

Now, you might be wondering, especially if you've read any of my stories before, "Kec, why start another story? Don't you have enough on your plate as it is, especially with stuff like Pokémon Resurrection or Five Nights of Truth or Dare at Freddy's?" And the answer to that question is because I discovered this type of story just a little bit ago, and it seemed so fun that I wanted to give it a try!

What kind of story is it? Well, it's not so much a story, as it is a reaction to other's stories. That's right. I'm making a fanfic where I, Kec the Kecleon, read and review other people's fanfics and overall rate it depending on how good or bad it is.

I tried something like this a while ago where I'd interview authors and get their thoughts into what inspired them to write their story, but that got old really fast, I wasn't having fun with it at all, and after just two or three interviews, I deleted it. But this idea seems actually fun, and I think I'll enjoy this one just about as much as my Truth or Dare story.

So, I suppose that I should get started before I get too much of an author's note up here. But before that, since I'm typically a really slow writer, I want you to get as much out of this kind of story as possible. So, after you finish reading today's review, why don't you head over to some of the other stories that does this exact thing, such as **Arceus the Critic** from Imperator Justinian, **Meloetta the Chick** from Virizion 2.6, or my personal favorite of these stories, **The Angry Bug Show** from DragonNiro, featuring Genesect. Seriously, if you like this, then you will love them too.

But, for now, let's begin!

* * *

 **Review**

 _Shattered_

 _By Arthur Moebius_

* * *

 _Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding  
Fall into the sunlight_

* * *

Okay, so it starts off with, as it explains in the author's note just beforehand, verses to a song he wrote into this story. So, I'll give him props for actually putting some work into his stuff. Will it uphold? Well, that's what we're here to find out.

* * *

 _"Where am I?" Char woke up slowly, a house he failed to remember as recognition slowly filled him,_

* * *

So, wait. Does he recognize the house or doesn't he? That's a bit of a confusing message right there.

* * *

 _he looked down, and instead of seeing a sword through his Charmeleon heart, he saw a human body perfectly healthy and not dying._

* * *

Oh, so he's not dead, when he's supposed to be. That's nice.

Also, it'll probably to good to mention that this is actually a one-shot this author made for another story he did, which sounds like it might be some kind of PMD story. I probably should read that first for context, but...eh. Context is lame. Going in blind is the best!

* * *

 _His tears never came, for he sensed someone else in his body._

* * *

 **Ino: "Mind Possession Jutsu!"**

* * *

 _"Who are you?" The voice asked as Char smiled slightly._

* * *

 _"I'm you." He answered back._

* * *

Okay, that's a pretty nice twist. Though, how Char knew for certain it was, erm, himself seems a bit strange. It's not like he has a mirror in front of him or anything. Eh, maybe it's just some kind of gut feeling or whatever.

* * *

 _The future's open wide, beyond believing  
To know why, hope dies  
Losing what was found, a world so hollow  
Suspended in a compromise_

* * *

More song lyrics. I wonder what music they could be set to. They're pretty nice!

* * *

 _"T-This is what happened to you?" Arthur asked, now 13 years old other than 5. Char nodded numbly._

* * *

The correct term to use there would probably be "rather than," but besides that, great job with the grammar so far!

* * *

 _This wasn't the first time he answered his question,_

* * *

Time loop?

* * *

 _and it always followed up with._

 _"Then we have to prevent it." Arthur said, determination in his eyes._

* * *

 **You are filled with DETERMINATION!**

* * *

 _Char sighed, 5 times into the timeline and no such thing has happened._

* * *

Seriously, this is sounding more and more like Undertale with every paragraph.

* * *

 **Sans: "i gave up trying to go back a long time ago."**

* * *

 _The silence of this sound, is soon to follow  
Somehow, sundown_

* * *

More song lyrics. And what kind of melody and tempo would this song have? Something sober, I'd bet.

* * *

 _The meteor was heading towards them once more as he sat by a tree, before as expected, the Zorua pushed the Honedge inside him._

* * *

Ouch. Alternatively, why didn't the Honedge push himself into Char? Eh, whatever. Context and whatnot.

* * *

 _He cried slightly, the repetition hurting more than the blade itself._

* * *

It's like we found the Pokémon version of Sans. Even the part with him getting disemboweled.

* * *

 _"It does nothing if you don't react to your death anymore." Zorua sighed as Char died once more, contemplating what he heard._

* * *

What? Is this Zorua aware of the timeline resets as well? Is he the Flowey of this universe?

* * *

 _Only the sun dropping below met his death._

* * *

 _Sun: *drops from sky* "Oh, hi, Char! How are you doing?"_

 _Char: *coughs up blood* "Terrible. I just got stabbed and I'm dead now."_

 _Sun: "Oh, sorry to hear that. Well, don't let me disturb you." *leaves*_

* * *

...I'm a terrible person...

* * *

 _And finding answers  
Is forgetting all of the questions we called home  
Passing the graves of the unknown_

* * *

Huh. Dead Unown. I wonder what that's like. Maybe I can use their corpses to spell the alphabet!

(A rotten tomato comes out of nowhere and smacks Kec in the face.)

Yeah, I deserved that.

* * *

 _"So, let me get this straight. You were a Charmeleon, and the whole world became Pokemon because of a genetic virus that some researcher accidentally spread through the air?"_

* * *

Huh. You know, that's actually pretty interesting. I guess not a PMD story then. Still, that kind of makes me wanna go review the main story later. Maybe...

* * *

 _Arthur, this time 16 years old asked, as Char nodded, most Arthur's didn't last this long, having gotten in traffic accidents, among many other things like murdered._

* * *

One, you could've separated that into two sentences at "nodded," and two, "murdered" is the wrong verb tense. You should've said, "like _being_ murdered," as that would've made more sense. But, hey, I'm just a grammar geek.

* * *

 _As reason clouds my eyes, with splendor fading  
Illusions of the sunlight  
And a reflection of a lie, will keep me waiting  
With love gone, for so long_

* * *

Seriously, fantastic work with these lyrics! I'd love to hear this song as an actual composed piece! It's amazing!

* * *

 _It's been 256 times since he started this horrible fate of reliving his life and he hated it._

* * *

 **Happy Mask Salesman: "You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?"**

* * *

 _It just repeated over and over, to the point when he couldn't even cry when he died, he just accepted it._

* * *

You know, I just realized I hadn't asked this before. But, why is he trapped in time like this? Is this the fault of Dialga/Celebi? I'm not sure. It's probably explained in the main story.

* * *

 _It's been ages since an Arthur got close to surviving and Char doesn't bother trying to explain anything to them anymore,_

* * *

Well. Rude.

* * *

 _just watching as the world slowly dies._

* * *

 **Sanae Hanekoma: "The world ends with you."**

* * *

 _"You have a chance of redemption. You can still head to Heaven." The voice told him._

* * *

What voice? An angel?

* * *

 _Sadly, he couldn't hear it with the numbness taking over his heart._

* * *

You heard it here first, folks! Nihilism = Bad Hearing!

* * *

 _And this day's ending  
Is the proof of time killing, all the faith I know  
Knowing that faith, is all I hold_

* * *

Sweet rhymes! I'd probably use a piano to compose this, personally.

...Even though I don't know how to play piano...

* * *

 _The Honedge looked like it too was getting tired of this meaningless repeat of a life as the sun once more went down._

* * *

Oh, the Honedge actually has feelings! I thought he was just a tool being used by that Zorua character.

* * *

 _Char sighed._

 _"Looks like it's time to head back again..." He muttered before once more time repeated. He sighed, his heart growing just that bit more numb inside._

* * *

I would've said "a bit," but that's just being a nitpicker. I'm already halfway through this story, and problems like these have been few and far between. I love that!

* * *

 _And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand  
Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love  
Without, love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on  
But I know, all I know, is that the end's beginning_

* * *

This ballad has some really nice phrasing. Seriously, if someone's reading this with actual musical talent, pick up a guitar or something and try to turn this into an actual song! It deserves it that much!

* * *

 _It felt strange on this reset, 1,920,506,123,450 time in at this point,_

* * *

For those of you who can't comprehend that, that's one trillion, nine hundred and twenty billion, five hundred and six million, one hundred and twenty-three thousand, four hundred and fifty, in written form.

...I'm pretty sure that even Chara would've gotten bored by this point.

* * *

 _to the point he wondered why he bothered keeping track with the times he had to go back, and how he kept track._

* * *

Good catch, author. I'm not sure there's a lot of people who can count to a million, much less a trillion, without losing track somewhere along the line.

* * *

 _But this Arthur intrigued him._

* * *

Right out of the blue?

* * *

 _He looked at the snow with confusion, but more so, he looked at his own ROOM with confusion._

* * *

Did he yell the word 'room' at himself? You could've simply emboldened it **like this** for the exact same effect.

* * *

 _"Where am I?" Arthur repeated the first words Char had spoken when he saw this room. He followed Arthur as he went and saw his mom and brother._

 _"Hey mom, hey Richard." He said out of a habit he never knew he had._

* * *

Well, that's weird. I hope you didn't pick up any other worse habits, like smoking or drugs.

* * *

 _"How did I know them?" He asked himself as Char's dead eyes widened. A spark lit in them that was long dead._

 _This could be the one._

* * *

 **Phoenix Wright: "HOLD IT!"**

What's going on? Why is Char related so closely to Arthur? Who's the human here? Arthur or Char? I'm getting really confused.

*sighs* I really wish now that I read the original story beforehand.

* * *

 _Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart  
Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent  
All this time spent in vain, wasted years, wasted gain_

* * *

More great lyrics. This should get an Grammy. That's all I'm saying.

* * *

 _Char watched over Arthur, as he went to school, walked home, was a smartass to his bullies and even when he got beat up,_

* * *

Okay, this means that either Char is a guardian angel to Arthur, or he's a stalker.

Hm, probably the former, I suppose.

* * *

 _he gave him small hints over his work, saying which was wrong or right from his memory, which wasn't perfect mind you, but he knew enough to the point where Arthur was doing his work so fast he'll be done with a week's work of work in a single hour and bored out of his mind._

* * *

Well, there was some bad grammar in there, between an obvious spelling error, to the paragraph's worth of a sentence. Seriously, take a break and use a period every now and then. Quit using so many commas like that.

* * *

 _Char smiled as Arthur started questioning his presence, not minding it, but curious on why him._

* * *

Yeah, why not me? I could do with some supernatural guidance.

(A Haunter appears behind Kec's head and gives him a lick, startling him.)

(Kec shivers.) On second thought, I think I'll pass on that.

* * *

 _He felt like he didn't deserve such a nice helper as he put it._

* * *

(Kec looks frightened.)Oh, crud! He's coming back around for another taste!

(Kec screams and leaps out of his chair, scrambling away from the Haunter floating menacingly towards him.)

* * *

 _"Well, I'm you." Char told him as Arthur nodded._

* * *

(Kec comes back to the chair with the Haunter slurping on his head, drool cascading down from Kec's skull, across his neck, and pooling slightly on his shoulders.)

Wait, he's just suddenly okay with that? A mysterious voice in his head that he's _actively_ _talking to,_ unlike a subconscious, and he's just okay with that? I would at least be a little freaked out about that? Or ask some very important questions.

* * *

 _"Well hi me then. Thanks." Arthur smiled at Char, even at 8 years old._

* * *

Oh, he was just a little kid. Okay, that makes sense. It's a little disorienting trying to keep track with how old Arthur is, but time loops can do that.

* * *

 _All is lost, hope remains, and this war's not over  
There's a light, there's a sun, taking all shattered ones  
To the place we belong, and his love will conquer all_

* * *

And we have some more lyrics. Honestly, I figured they were going to be annoying at first, but they've actually been a highlight to me reading this. Plus, they've proved to be a great cutaway between settings. Nice touch!

* * *

 _Arthur started talking to him more and more as the years went on, keeping him company and surviving with and without his help._

* * *

(Kec and Haunter) "Aw, that's sweet."

* * *

 _It was fascinating as this Arthur seemed not to die by random circumstances, but was actually pretty lucky in his endeavors._

* * *

 **Professor McGonagall: "It was pure dumb luck!"**

* * *

 _It left a nice feeling in Char's dead mouth._

* * *

Did someone say Deadmau5?! (Kec then starts playing loud rave music.)

(Haunter picks up a baseball bat.)

 **SMASH!**

Hey! You broke my stereo! Why'd you do that?!

"Because it was loud and annoying."

You're one to talk. You're still licking my head!

"...So?"

* * *

 _And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand  
Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love  
Without, love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on  
But I know, all I know, is that the end's beginning_

* * *

Oh, repeating lyrics. That's a first. I'm going to assume that this is something like a chorus? I like that. That really does cement it as a song, rather than just an ordinary poem, which is something I didn't think about until this moment.

* * *

 _Then his middle school years hit him._

* * *

 **Katara: Everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.**

* * *

 _Bullies and more closed off his heart to the point where he didn't even notice his presence most of the time, cracks appearing on himself as he couldn't tell if he had a mask or not on his face._

* * *

Who does he think he is? Skull Kid from Majora's Mask?

* * *

 _He felt fake, he felt wrong._

 _He felt lost._

* * *

 **Army: GET ON WITH IT!**

* * *

 _Char could do nothing more but watch with tears in his eyes at seeing himself break down this badly._

* * *

Well, that's a bit depressing. But, this has been pretty angsty so far, so...

* * *

 _Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart  
Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent  
All this time spent in vain, wasted years, wasted gain_

* * *

More (great) repeating lyrics.

* * *

 _After the last year of middle school, Char tried once more to talk with Arthur, who looked around before smiling._

* * *

 _"Alright, the voice in my head is back! Let me tell you all about what I told my psychiatrist about you!"_

* * *

 _"I-I'm sorry for that...my middle school years were shit..." Arthur told him as Char shrugged._

* * *

 **Phantom Freddy: *gasps* "Profanity!"**

* * *

 _"It's okay, sorry I couldn't help." Char said._

 _"It's okay." They made up with smiles._

* * *

Aw, they both made up. That's so- Haunter, quit licking my head!

"But, you're so tasty."

I DON'T CARE! IT'S GROSS!

* * *

 _All is lost, hope remains, and this war's not over  
There's a light, there's a sun, taking all shattered ones  
To the place we belong, and his love will conquer all_

* * *

"You know, I've come up with a melody for this."

You did?

"Yeah, hear me out!"

(Haunter starts singing to the tune of Lavender Town.)

(Kec's expression deadpans.) Get out of here.

"Oh... Um, okay..." (Haunter leaves through the wall, depressed.)

(Kec cringes.) "I might've been a little too harsh. I suppose I'll make it up to him later. But, for now, where were we?"

* * *

 _Char told him everything, and watched as Arthur dreamed his memories, finding areas where they could have made a lot of things better, and tried to keep at it, he wanted to help, so much and hated seeing Char suffer through that._

* * *

Despite the run-on sentence again, that's a very nice sentiment. Though, how he "dreamed his memories" is a bit of a mystery to me.

* * *

 _"Trust me. I'll save you. This won't be another repeated timeline." Arthur grinned as Char nodded._

 _It felt good having someone to trust._

* * *

(Kec snaps his fingers.) Frisk and Asriel. That was the relationship I was trying to compare this to. And one that certainly parallels this particular scenario.

* * *

 _Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding  
Fall into your sunlight_

* * *

And finishing the song as it started. I loved that song whenever it popped up! It was a highlight of my reading experience! It also marks the _swan song_ for this one-shot as well!

(Another tomato smacked Kec in the face.)

Hey, I thought that was a pretty clever pun!

* * *

 _Char smiled as he saw the sunset this time, it seemed like there was some hope after all._

* * *

 **Announcer from Film Legends: "Character Arc!"**

* * *

 _"Thank you Arthur." Char told him as Arthur watched it with him from his house door._

 _"No problem, don't worry. I won't fail, not like the others. I'll save you, and myself from that fate. And you'll be right there next to me all the way." Arthur assured him._

* * *

 **Jacksepticeye: "All the way, to f*cking victory town."**

* * *

 _"Damn right I will." Char chuckled as he said that._

 _"Then let's go. Together." Arthur said as he went to his bed._

* * *

Ooh! What'cha mean by that, huh? (Kec arches his eyebrows.)

(Haunter pops out from the wall.) "Don't make things so lewd!"

Hey, who was the one sucking on my head like a weirdo?!

(Haunter stares at Kec for a minute before fading back into the wall.)

(Kec continues to stare at the spot where Haunter was.) ...You'd better run.

* * *

 _"Thank you." Char said before they went to sleep. "For everything." He smiled._

* * *

Alright! That was **Shattered** , and boy, what a read! This kind of sets up things for what I want this story to be about. Finding the gems amongst the trash of Fanfiction, and if I do find trash, I'll tear it apart like the garbage it is. But, for now, let's talk about the story on hand.

Honestly, this story did most everything right! The Undertale vibes struck true to home with the nihilism coming from Char as he remained trapped in the same cycle for over 1 trillion times! Which is a simply insane amount of resets!

And just to put this huge scale of time in perspective, in one of the episodes of the newest Doctor Who, it featured the Twelfth Doctor getting stuck in a seemingly endless loop of appearing in a clockwork castle, dying, and then being reborn. He spends an unclear amount of time during each cycle, I personally think he spends a few months each time, but over his many life cycles here, he was able to chip his way through a substance harder than diamond to escape, and this took him over 10 billion years.

Now imagine spending about 10 years of your life repeating the same thing over and over again and having it end each time with you dying, then you have to do it again and again and again, for over 1 trillion separate timelines. With those kinds of numbers, I think both Doctor Who and Sans managed to get it off easy compared to Char. I really sympathise with him here.

Overall, I loved this concept, the hopelessness Char exhumed was almost palpable, and the seedlings of hope that grew from encountering that last Arthur was a great conclusion and made me feel happy for this character in a way that others like Asriel Dreemurr never got. There was also the spelling, which was pretty much perfect! I definitely mark this story as an absolute gem!

Unfortunately, this gem does have its flaws. For starters, I have to say that the author does not know how to use the comma. This is a problem a lot of authors have, obviously, but it's still distracting to have some sentences cut off without warning, while others go on forever. It's a minor detail, but it's pretty vital, in my opinion.

And while this is probably my fault, I was extremely confused with the setting. The Zorua and Honedge had almost no coverage, and I couldn't tell who was what and where and why. Is Arthur the human, or is it really Char? Is it really Char who's the Charmeleon who gets stabbed, or is it Arthur? I just don't know who's who at all. It was extremely well written, but I feel like it's for someone who read his previous stories.

With this in mind, I will give this story a fairly good **4 out of 5** stars! It's an excellent read by itself, but it would be a whole lot better if you read his previous stories first to find out exactly who are the characters you're reading about and where it is. I still don't know if it's a PMD story or not. I'm just that confused.

* * *

 _Notable Mentions:_

 _Naruto_

 _Undertale_

 _The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask_

 _The World Ends With You_

 _Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney_

 _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_

 _Deadmau5_

 _Avatar: The Last Airbender_

 _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_

 _Five Nights at Freddy's_

 _Piemation_

 _Pokémon Red and Blue_

 _Film Theory_

 _WISECRACK_

 _Jacksepticeye_

 _Doctor Who_

* * *

Thank you guys so much for reading this! I know it's a little stupid to start writing up a new story like this, but I really wanted to try this out, and from what I can tell, it was a huge success! (Or, at the very least, I really enjoyed writing this.)

So, the question is...what now? Well, for you guys, if you really liked what I did here, then there are plenty of other stories for you to read that does this exact same thing. My favorite out of these is **The Angry Bug Show** from DragonNiro. Seriously, this one was what inspired me to start writing this story, and for good reason. Genesect is a very dynamic character, and the most fun to read. So, while you're waiting for me, since I'm pretty much infamous by now for taking forever, check that one out. You'll have fun, trust me.

Now, as for my stuff, I have officially begun writing again, as you can probably tell by this here, but I'm breaking myself into my new tablet, since my old one broke, so I'm going to be taking a while to officially claim this tablet as my own. However, the little amount that I was doing is gonna be stunted quite a bit, as a lot of my nearly completed chapters were on my old, broken tablet, and it'll be difficult to try to get that info off of it. So, I'm basically just gonna start over, which will be a bit of a pain.

Besides that, there's a bit of a restriction on my internet which will definitely effect when I can upload these stories. So, except for rare occasions, I'll only be able to upload somewhere between 3 and 6 AM around where I live, so unless you get up _really_ early in the morning for my content, you might not even see anything on the front page. (Which is probably why you should totally follow and favorite both this story and my account, huh?) This doesn't mean I won't be working on it during the rest of the time. It simply affects my upload ratio and timeline.

So, that's everything I feel I need to tell you. If you have any other questions for me about my stories, then please hit me up with a PM. I insist. Seriously, don't clog up my reviews with questions about other stories. And speaking of reviews, please leave one down there and tell me exactly how you think I did. Your opinion could make a world of difference to me!

And that's all for now! Take care, everyone. Aaand stay tuned for the next chapter! See ya!


	2. Chapter 2

(Screen flickers on)

Howdy once again, everyone! My name is Kec, and welcome to another review! And this story is already getting a following, as shortly after I posted, I received a request to check out someone's story. Now, I happily said yes, naturally, and that's what we're going to cover today, but I just want to let everyone know that this isn't necessarily going to always be the case. So, for now, let's get on with the story!

* * *

 **Review**

 _the demon awakes (Part 1)_

 _By FXCF_

* * *

 _yuy pekeman_

* * *

And this is how it starts. Well, this bodes well for the rest of the story.

* * *

 **Mr. Hollywood: "That's cute. But it's WRONG!"**

* * *

 _EIGHT YEARS AGO_

* * *

 **Star Wars Narrator: "In a galaxy far, far away."**

* * *

 _our story begins in a desolate city. the walls crumbled, glass shattered, corpses lining the street. mew looked down upon the war-zone._

* * *

(Kec's expression deadpans) Alright, here we go. It looks like we're in the middle of a war.

(Haunter suddenly appears behind Kec) "That's a no-brainer."

(Kec looks behind him, startled) Hey! What are you doing back here, Haunter?

"Because you're tasty."

What're you- (Kec gets cut off by Haunter latching onto his head) Well...I guess this is happening...

Anyway, I can also see that this story is going to be fairly rife with errors. Case in point: No capital letters at the start of the sentences, or at all, for that matter. Like, the run-on sentences from the last story could be excused, to a degree. But, there's literally no excuse for not capitalizing those first letters in the sentence. Everyone knows to do that!

* * *

 _three years the legendaries had fought, many died from their wounds._

* * *

Wait, I thought Legendary Pokémon were, like, deities and stuff. Plus, Pokémon don't usually die. They just faint. But, I suppose this is FanFiction-land, where blood, gore and death go hand to hand with your cute little Pocket Monsters.

* * *

 _mew was looking for dead pokemon to bury._

* * *

(Haunter unlatches from Kec's head)"You can bury me, senpai!"

(Kec looks back at the Ghost type) Senpai? Do you have some sort of crush on Mew?

(Haunter blushes) "Erm, no, I mean...uh..." (Haunter runs away)

...Well, I guess this rumor is going to neither be confirmed nor denied. (Kec chuckles) I wonder how Aqua and the rest will take to that?

* * *

 _the war of hyrus was taking lives left and right. the humans had grown greedy, and saw the legends as threats to their existence. and the humans were winning._

* * *

Wait, what? Okay, first off, why did humanity decide to go on the offensive now? The Legendary Pokémon weren't doing anything. (Really, they don't do much of anything anyway.) How does greed also mean being suddenly daunted by the Legends? Those are two completely different things

And how were they actually winning? Let's not forget that Groudon and Kyogre can shape continents and the oceans, Palkia and Dialga control the flippin' time-space continuum, and Xerneas and Yveltal control the literal forces of life and death! Not to mention the fact that Arceus was powerful enough to create these beasts in the first place, making him dominant over all of them.

Wait. What were we talking about again?

* * *

 _Arceus had fled earth and its galaxy._

* * *

 **Withered Freddy: "F*ck this sh*t, I'm out."**

* * *

 _mewtwo was missing. and mew...was left to die._

* * *

By whom? Who left her to die? Arceus?

* * *

 _burning another one of her children, she heard a sound. a footstep. and another. and another. and another._

* * *

Sounds like when Missy was poking holes in a Dalek with a broach in that one episode of Doctor Who.

* * *

 **Missy: "I just put a hole in you. And another. And another. And another."**

* * *

 _a teen rounded the corner, holding a black pokemon. from her position, mew saw that it was a pure black flareon, with white neck fluff._

* * *

(Kec groans, before slamming his head on the desk) Great, a "special colored" Pokémon. And, oh look, it's an Eeveelution. Hey, while you're at it, author, why don't you bring in a Lucario, or a Zoroark. Ooh, ooh, or maybe even a starter Pokémon! That has certainly never been done in pretty much _every other Pokémon fanfic story ever!_

(Kec sighs) At least the Charmeleon from Shattered was _sort of_ original. But, I'd like to see something original, like a Kecleon, perhaps.

#PutMoreKecleonInFanfiction

* * *

 _the flareon wasn't breathing. the teen was in bad condition. his leg was badly wounded, and twisted in an unnatural way._

* * *

Then how did he get there then? Did he hop on one foot?

* * *

 _his right arm was gone, all that was left was the torn shoulder, leaking blood._

* * *

Wait. If this guy's been holding this Flareon while he was bleeding all over the place, wouldn't that make it _black and white and red all over?!_

(A tomato smacks Kec in the face) Okay, I deserved that.

* * *

 _his face was badly malformed, his left eye completely missing, revealing the socket. he had remnants of white hair, a few strands, but the rest was gone._ _he had a large gash across his torso, bleeding profusely._

* * *

Wow. Okay, I'm not one to like a detailed description of gore, but that's a really nice description of gore. Excluding the omission of capitalized letters, of course.

* * *

 _his eye was gold._

* * *

Was the color of his eye really that important? He's about to die in a few minutes anyway.

* * *

 _he could only take nine steps, before he fell, his flareon sliding away._

* * *

Yay, a makeshift game of curling!

...Does anyone even know what curling is?

...

...

For crying out loud! It's an Olympic sport, for Pete's sake! They use brooms in it and junk!

* * *

 _he laid there for a minute, before dragging himself to his pokemon. "u-u-ubra lanugo..."_

* * *

Bless you!

* * *

 _he reached his pokemon, laying his hand on the corpse. "i...i'll see you soon...i...i just wish we made THEM suffer..."_

* * *

So, the Shift key on the author's keyboard _wasn't_ broken after all. That being said, you could've emboldened that word **like this** to get that same effect. Even if you're using some kind of Text Document, you can still do that in the on-site editor. Anyway, that is a bit of a touching moment there.

(Another tomato hits Kec's face, causing the Kecleon to turn around) What? I wasn't making any jokes!

(Haunter floats in the doorway, holding another tomato in his disembodied hand) "Oh, sorry. I thought you were making a pun on the human placing his hand on the Flareon."

(Kec stares at him blankly) Oh, really? I didn't even think of that. Thanks for catching that for me.

(Haunter looks confused) "Um, thanks?" (Haunter then floats out of view)

* * *

 _his eyes glazed for a moment, before he saw mew. "oh... hello lady mew...heh... talk about luck.."_

* * *

 _"Oh, don't mind me," said Mew. "I was just watching your little moment with your dead Flareon that shouldn't exist before you bleed out and die yourself. Just...go back to what you were doing."_

* * *

 _mew reached into his mind. "what is your name young one?"_

* * *

 **Temmie: "hOi! i'm temmie!"**

* * *

 _he looked at her, before saying "nixuliium umbra primogenitus-malum.."_

* * *

(Kec stares at the name for a minute, before bursting out laughing) I'm sorry, what?! In what universe is _that_ a name? (Kec guffaws for a few more minutes, head down on the desk and pounding it with his fist)

(Kec finishes his laughing fit, sighing) Yeah, even capitalizing a proper noun like that name there couldn't have helped make that name look and sound any less stupid. Why couldn't he have been given an easier name, like Bob.

* * *

 **Temmie Bob: "Hi. I'm Bob."**

* * *

On a side note, I'm pretty sure the author even misspelled his own main character's name. The letter "i" has no reason to be doubled in a word under any circumstance, unlike something like the letter "u," which is located in words such as "vacuum." If that's really his canon name, then it seems to be even more stupid than I originally thought.

(Kec thinks about the name again, and starts chuckling before cutting himself off to continue reading)

* * *

 _mews eyes widened at his name, the same last name of the enemy._

* * *

(Kec begins chuckling again) So, the horrible names run in the family, I suppose.

* * *

 _"ya know.. i wish i could kill him. that mistake i called father.." he coughed up blood. "well, it was nice to meet you mew...goodbye..." his eyes glazed over._

* * *

(ASGORE begins to play)

Oh, wait a minute. That wasn't the beginning to an awesome boss battle. That was just Mr. Stupid Name kicking the bucket. Sorry, my bad.

* * *

 _mew looked to the sky, praying to her father."please, father. let this poor soul let his wish come true. he lived for a noble cause, please, father..."_

* * *

How the heck do you know he lived for a noble cause? You only just met the guy before he died right in front of you.

* * *

Plus, wanting to commit patricide, regardless of whether or not it's justified, is not what I consider very noble.

* * *

 _she then gasped in pain, as a hyper beam hit her. the boy was followed._

* * *

 **Admiral Akbar: "IT'S A TRAP!"**

* * *

 _"now would you look at this! the mother of the abominations!" the attackers trainer laughed, before giving her a evil grin._

* * *

When you use the word "a" in front of a word that begins with a vowel, you should change it to "an." Also, Mew, as well as most of the rest of the Legendary Pokémon, doesn't have a gender. So, calling it the "mother of the abominations" is sort of inaccurate. Also, it's rude.

* * *

 _"ya know, i think i'll have some fun~"_

* * *

I don't think that's how you should use a tilde.

...Actually, how do you use a tilde anyway?

* * *

 _mews eyes widen at his statement, and then, with a tackle from the enemies pokemon, she fell to the darkness._

* * *

Spelling errors ahoy! From the wrong tense being used on the word "widen" to the lack of apostrophes to indicate possession that I failed to note earlier. But, more importantly, is this guy's Pokémon completely ignorant to what it's doing? It's literally attacking one of their gods, and especially Mew, since she technically created said Pokémon. Also, which Pokémon is it? You've got about 800 to choose from, so why keep it anonymous?

(Kec sighs) So, yeah, that's the end of Chapter 1. Unfortunately, there's 16 chapters after this, and since I don't want to rate them individually, I'm going to read three more chapters before I stop this time, and then section the rest of the story up later as I see fit. So, instead of 17 chapters dedicated to **the demon awakens,** I'll just have four chapters for this story, with an overall rating of the story happening at the very end. So, yeah, expect a bit of a lengthy read.

So, anyway, let's continue with Chapter 2.

* * *

 _m8._

* * *

OK, so I'm starting to think that this is an introductory author's note, so I might just start to ignore this part. I don't know, there's no space separating that from the story.

* * *

 _it ha been eight years since mew was captured,_

* * *

Wait, why capture her instead of outright killing her like the humans did with every single other Legendary Pokémon? That's a bit of a plot oversight.

* * *

 _and with that, the humans won, enslaving all pokemon, not with balls and treats, but with collars and chains._

* * *

Well, if you look at it from a technical standpoint, Poké Balls are already pretty much prisons. Plus, if they can escape their balls like Psyduck or Wobbuffet, to name a few, then it would only need a simple modification to make the balls escape-proof once the Pokémon are in.

Also, again, why did humans win? What the heck put them over a bunch of legends to come out on top and enslave all of Pokémon-kind? There's even an animation from Dorkly about how Pokémon are more dangerous than guns, so what happened?

And don't say they used Pokémon. I refuse to believe that Pokémon would willingly do this kind of crud unless they were put under mind control or something.

* * *

 _mew was raped daily, giving birth to hybrids, anthropomorphic pokemon._

* * *

(Kec stares blankly at the sentence, going over it a few more times in his head, before screaming angrily.) AAAARGH! What the actual f***?! I don't like cursing, but, oh my Arceus, does this call for it, so bad! Why would anyone _ever_ do that to a Pokémon?! That's essentially the same thing as trying to have sex with a dog. It's just wrong on so many levels!

(Haunter pokes his head into the room) "What's up?"

(Kec looks back at Haunter) Come over here and read this. This is just idiotic!

(Haunter floats over and reads the sentence Kec pointed out) "LE GASP! How could this happen to my poor Mew! Hang on, senpai, I'll rescue you!" (Haunter zooms out of the room)

(Kec stares off after Haunter) ...He does know that Mew's not actually being raped, right? This is just a story. A bad one, but it's still a story.

* * *

 _the collars disabled pokemons powers._

* * *

Er...why mention that now instead of when you were talking about the collars before. Why was it necessary to talk about interspecies rape first?

* * *

 _all hope was lost... until HE WOKE UP_

* * *

(Kec covers his ears) I know that's important, but did you have to scream it? Or, maybe you accidentally hit the Caps Lock?

* * *

 _IN THE DESOLATE TOWN_

* * *

Good for setting placement. Not so well in actual description. This is eight years after a war. So, which desolate town? There's bound to be a ton of them.

* * *

 _two skeletons laid in the middle of the town, a human skeleton and a flareon skeleton. without warning, a bolt of lightning struck both skeletons, covering them in black light._

* * *

Black lights? All right! Rave time! (Kec turns on a boombox playing Skrillex)

(A Shadow Ball blows up the boombox. Kec turns to see Haunter standing in the doorway)

Dude, again? That cost me 50 bucks! And why are you back so soon?

"It took me a minute before I realized that it was just a story. And, as for the first thing, if it wasn't me, it was gonna be someone else who did it."

(Kec looks disappointed) Party pooper.

* * *

 _a holy, yet demonic, voice rang from the heavens._

* * *

That's a contradiction.

* * *

 _"HUMANS! YOUR TIME IS NIGH, FOR A NEW CHAMPION WILL RISE! AND DESTROY YOU! NOW, AWAKEN !"_

* * *

Okay, I don't see the need for that space right before the exclamation point, but whatever. Also, who is this guy addressing? It's a desolate town! That basically means abandoned, void of people available to listen to demonic monologues. It's like trying to do a stand-up routine with no audience. In the end, the joke is on you.

"Deep."

Thanks!

* * *

 _the voice shouted, as the two skeletons fused together,_

* * *

(Kec appears anxious) No...

* * *

 _forming a mix between man, and beast._

* * *

(Kec appears terrified) No!

* * *

 _muscle started to fill the bones, and then organs, then flesh._

* * *

Er, muscle and flesh are pretty much the same thing. Also, NO!

* * *

 _his soul came forth, awakened from slumber._

* * *

(Kec slams his head on the desk repeatedly) NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

(Kec leans back in his chair, groaning) Ugh, not Pokéfusion. Anything but Pokéfusion. Please, Arceus, not Pokéfusion!

(Kec looks to the camera, disdain written plainly on his face) Okay, listen. I'm sorry about that outburst, but when things like this happens in a story, I can only groan in horror. It's not like Pokéfusion is an all out bad thing. Heck, it can be great if people do it right. But, most of the time when I read about this in fanfics, it's simply used as a way to make the main character "even more special than he should be."

Plus, even excluding this fact, I don't actually feel as if this kid even deserves an extra chance at life. Like I said before, he basically just rolled over and died, with no real goals in his life other than to kill his dad, which as I said before, is not at all a worthy cause. Granted, I don't know how he got in the place he did with the "special" Flareon, and depending on what had happened, my opinion could change. But for now, my current opinion stands.

(Kec grumbles softly) At least in Pokémon Resurrection, you have a good reason why the main character gets revived.

* * *

 _his flesh was pale, almost white. he was about 8'6._

* * *

8'6?! What was he, a giant?!

(Kec checks Pokémon heights on Bulbapedia quickly) Right, that's as tall as an average Beartic. Charizard is typically about 5'7, according to the Pokédex, which is pretty comparable to your average teenager. (Don't quote me on that.) Now, this? This is utter BS, but I think you all get my point. He should _not_ be that tall!

(Then again, we got AZ, so that's something...)

* * *

 _somehow, cloths appeared on his body._

* * *

 **Wanda: "Look! It's Tarzan, Lord of the Apes!"**

 **Cosmo: "No, it's Tarzan, Lord of the Drapes."**

* * *

I'm saying this because you said " _cloths_ " instead of " _clothes_." That silent 'e' can tricky, but it makes a world of difference.

* * *

 _a black jacket with a super fluffy collar, and cuffs. the fur was white. on the back of the jacket was a flareon's skull, white as snow._

* * *

Okay, I'll admit he put some effort in the description. (Which is probably the only thing he put effort in, honestly.) However, the phrasing of that section could've been written so much better. Here, let me write my own version of this section:

 _"He wore a black jacket with a white, fluffy collar and cuffs. On the back of the jacket was a picture of a Flareon's skull, which was white as snow."_

Not perfect, but you get what I mean. It's very descriptive, but it's disjointed. You've got all the jigsaw pieces there. Now fit them together properly. Don't just smash them into each other and hope it works.

* * *

 _the teens body rose, as white hair sprouted from his bald head, forming a ponytail that reached his waist._

* * *

 **Starla: *giggles* "You're not bald. It's stubble."**

* * *

 _his eyes opened, showing his left eye was just a gold slit, with a gold and red ring around it, floating in a sea of black._

* * *

Uhh...what is that supposed to look like? I got confused with the various shapes and colors involved. Sorry if I'm being incompetent or something.

* * *

 _the right eye was just a socket, skin missing from it._

* * *

Wait, why didn't _that_ eye regenerate? That doesn't make any sense! What, did the demonic entity that brought this guy back to life think that he would look like more of a badass if they made sure he didn't have depth perception? Dude, that is just really dark.

* * *

 _his legs were hugged by skinny jeans, a dark purple color._

* * *

Hugged? Now this is sounding sexual for some reason. Sorry, but it's just a weird sounding word to me like this.

* * *

 _knee-high boots covered his feat, black in color, with a flareon styled paw sole._

* * *

Aw, how cute. He looks like a heavy metal reject, but his boots have paw patterns on the soles. That makes him almost adorable. Also, it's "feet," not "feat." Feat is a word, but it means an accomplishment, so unless there are boots covering his triumphs, which they may as well be doing at this point, this was a miss in the spelling department.

* * *

 _his right arm was pitch black, and clawed, like darkrai's arm, but with longer claws, and a spike protruding from the elbow._

* * *

...Okay, that was an oddly specific detail. Does that mean that the entity that revived Mr. What's-His-Face was Darkrai, who somehow avoided the purge from eight years ago? It's a possibility.

* * *

 _the spike protruded from the sleeve._

* * *

 **Army: "GET ON WITH IT!"**

* * *

 _a flareon tail protruded from the tip of his tail bone, reaching three feet, super fluffy._

* * *

(Kec facepalms) Can't forget to mention that he is, in fact, a Pokéfusion by giving him a tail. Also, saying it's super fluffy is a bit redundant, as I'm sure most of the people reading this story knows what a Flareon's tail looks like. Heck, one of my best friends is a Flareon, and he never goes around shouting about how fluffy his tail is.

...Well, most of the time, anyway.

* * *

 _and after eight long years, his empty lungs inhaled the burnt air. a smile broke from his face, his teeth sharper than knives, and a laugh ripped itself from his mouth._

 _"IIIIMMMM BBAAAAACCKKK!"_

* * *

Okay, that made him sound like he was possessed by a demon, but whatever.

"Um, don't you remember what the story's called, Kec?"

Huh? Oh, yeah. Let me check that. (Kec scrolls to the top not the page) Oh, it's called **the demon awakes.** Oh, that makes sense. So, the demon finally awoke, huh? That's great. And, also, points for that dramatic entry. It was at least decent, which is nice.

So, yeah, that was the end of Chapter 2. We're halfway through, now! Hopefully, these next ones will be a bit of a better quality than the first two, though. So, let's get to it!

* * *

 _three chapters in one day! holy-_

* * *

Okay, if the chapters I read so far was only done in a single day, then I can understand why they kept up with the poor quality. So, I'm going to assume this one will be about as bad as the last two, but hopefully the chapters after this one will get better as time goes on. We can only hope...

* * *

 _nixiliium looked himself over, taking in his canine like face, sharp nails, well, more like claws, his neck floof, and tail._

* * *

Wait, wasn't the neck floof part of the jacket? I thought we established that. Is it actually a part of him? (Kec rolls his eyes) I don't see why he isn't just covered in black fur at this point. It really makes no sense.

But, good on the author for giving Mr. Stupid Name some confusion on his new appearance. Normal people don't take on a new form suddenly without being at least weirded out.

(Kec mumbles) _Well, there are those people with transformation fetishes, but that's a discussion for another time._

* * *

 _even thought he has only been alive for three hours, he felt like he had the tail his whole life._

* * *

That's a...weirdly specific thing to feel. But, again, it's nice to see reality crashing into this fairly mad plot.

Though, what's with the timeskip? Three hours already? What, did he just yell into the empty air that he was back before standing around for a couple of hours like a dork?

(A tomato splats into the back of Kec's head) "No insults!"

(Kec chuckles, ignoring the tomato juice running down the back of his head) Haunter, I've been insulting this story since I started reading it. That ship has officially sailed.

"Well, excuse me. I just wanted to be involved." (Haunter stalks out of the room)

(Kec pouts, looking back) Well. Moody.

* * *

 _"all right, i'm fully alive and well, so i best be off"_

* * *

Okay, seriously. Who the heck talks like that? That's way too formal for this situation, and unless he's a knight in shining armor from the Middle Ages, I think he should be talking a little more casually. (Especially since he just came back from the dead and all...)

* * *

 _"yes, we should" and there's that voice._

* * *

The lack of proper punctuation here is almost laughable.

* * *

 _all nixus could guess was that the voice was his dear flareon's soul. "well, let's go"._

* * *

(Kec slams his head on the desk repeatedly) Okay, this may be a common mistake, but let me clarify how quotation marks (") work. First, they're actual sentences, so end them with a period. Second, all periods must be _inside_ the quotation marks. And third, if the sentence continues after the quotation marks, end it with a comma, and not a period. Also, be sure to add things like "he said" or "Tara asked" towards the beginning or the end of these quotations so people know who's talking.

And how many of these rules does this author follow? Occasionally the first one, but never any of the others so far. So, yeah, this needs addressing.

* * *

 _nixus had walked for five hours, twenty minutes, and thirty seconds, before he got to the forest that neighbored the town._

* * *

Did he time it? Why was it exactly that time? Why not just an estimation, just to make things seem more, I don't know, authentic?!

* * *

 _without a second glance, he entered._

* * *

(Kec starts speaking in a cartoony voice) And remember kids! If you're resurrected after being straight up murdered after almost a decade, you should always walk along without a care in the world and not worry about anyone trying to kill you again. It's just logic!

* * *

 _"YAH-HOO!" nixus shouted as he launched himself from a tree, landing with a roll."now that was fun, eh umbra?"_

* * *

So, I'm guessing that Umbra is the name of the "special" Flareon? Quick question. Why couldn't you have used an Umbreon for your purposes? You would miss out on the floof, but at least you wouldn't look like a scrub by using a "special" Pokémon. Unless there's a good reason for it to have black fur, this makes no sense.

Also, I just realized that Mr. Nixi-something got his name shortened to just Nixus. You're making him a little too much like N in the name department, but at least this is more tolerable than what it was before. (Kec thinks about the name again and snickers quietly)

* * *

 _"i think i'm going to be sick..ugh..." nixus laughed._

* * *

Wait. Was that Umbra saying that? Seriously, learn to use pronouns, and say who's talking when. I'll even take being explicitly told who's point of view we're in over having to guess who's speaking at this point.

* * *

 _he felt good for being a recently revived corpse._

* * *

 **Undead Skeleton Horse: "Wait, I'm dead? Why didn't you tell me I was dead?"**

* * *

 _"hey nix, where is all the pokemon at? we should have encountered some caterpie by now."_

* * *

Pretty sure he meant " _at least_ some Caterpie by now," but hey. What do I know? For all I know, in this world, this forest is known as the Caterpie Woods, which is resident to nothing but Caterpie.

...Actually, that'd be an interesting place, to be honest. It'd be like that pond in the Resort Area in Sinnoh, which is only host to Magikarp. (Well, when you fish, anyway. When you just surf, you find Golduck.) You could even find Magikarp up to Lv. 100 there!

Um, what were we talking about again? I keep getting off track.

* * *

 _nixus looked around, realizing that the statement was true._

* * *

You heard it here first, folks! Reanimation = Poor Observational Skills!

* * *

 _"ya, your right umbra, where are they?_

* * *

Only Temmies should be allowed to say "ya" instead of "yeah." Also, wrong "your." That one shows possession. You need to put in "you're," which is an abbreviation of "you are." Common mistake.

* * *

 _i mean, nothing serious could of happened in eight-MOTHER OF ARCEUS!"_

* * *

Huh. I didn't know Arceus had eight mothers.

(A tomato hits Kec in the face, which barely phases him as he wipes it off)

On a more serious note, please tell me that Nixus was _not_ aware of how much time passed between his death and his revival. That makes no sense unless he was in some kind of limbo or something, which probably won't be explained at this point. (Or at any point, most likely.)

* * *

 _nixus's lamenting came to a halt a he was thrown by a blast of fire, somehow not burning his jacket._

* * *

Well, he's probably hurt, with a bunch of bruises and maybe even some broken bones, but at least his rad jacket is okay. That's what we're all concerned about.

* * *

 **ASDF Movie Guy: "I was being sarcastic!"**

* * *

 _he got up slowly, hearing skittering foot and paw steps. all around him were pokemon of all types._

* * *

In a forest supposedly abandoned by any and all life, just like that? That's a bit bizarre.

* * *

 _brushing dirt off his shoulders, nixus gazed around for his attacker. his eyes settled on a mother arcanine, and six pups._

* * *

Again, where did it come from? And, if there were more Pokémon around, why don't you mention them? I personally think the greater whole is much more important than a single part.

* * *

 _"musta got too close"_

* * *

WHO SAID THAT?! IT DOESN'T SAY WHO SAID THAT! ARGH!

* * *

 _the mother powered up another ember. nixus tensed his legs, noticing the branches above him,_

* * *

Ooh, really? Branches? In a forest? I never would've guessed that was even possible!

* * *

 **ASDF Movie Guy: "I was being sarcastic!"**

* * *

 _as she fired her attack, he launched up too inhuman heights, landing on his feet in a crouched position._

* * *

Okay, I have to admit that, overall, despite my complaints, this is a pretty okay action scene. I've seen better, especially with the capital letters that are supposed to be there and the wrong "to," but this is okay. Maybe if this didn't have all of these glaring errors, I might actually be pulled in a bit. But, it does, so I'm not.

* * *

 _his tail unfurled from his waist, making it look like a floofy belt._

* * *

Okay, do you even know what the word "unfurled" means? Basically, it means exactly the opposite of what you just described. Literally. Look it up in a dictionary.

Also, quit using the word "floofy." That's kind of a joke word people use when describing something soft like that. Just talk like a normal person and say "fluffy." It's not that hard.

* * *

 _"now, i ain't gonna say that was uncalled for. that would be a stupid choice of words on my part." nixus lamented, scratching his head._

* * *

...Amongst other stupid word choices you've made.

* * *

 _"arceus, these jeans are digging in bad."_

* * *

I've never much cared for skinny jeans myself. Then again, it's typically pretty weird to see a Kecleon in skinny jeans.

(Haunter pops in) "I tried on skinny jeans once."

(Kec turns back to him) Yeah? How'd it go?

(Haunter suddenly looks depressed) "Terrible. It was only at that point that I realized I didn't have legs."

...Sorry, but...you didn't notice before?

(Haunter appears on the verge of crying) "Why can't I be a Gengar, like my older brother?" (Haunter flees from the room)

(Kec stares after him, dumbfounded) ...Okay, I might have another talk with him after this is over.

* * *

 _[stay away from my pups, monster!] nixus gasped in surprise, one at the fact that he was right, and two, did he just understand poke-speech?!_

* * *

You know, I don't get why people feel the need to differentiate speech from Pokémon when the main character can understand them perfectly. Can't they just talk normally? (Or, at the very least, put normal parentheses around the quotation marks when they talk. That's a fine substitute.)

* * *

 _he was so shocked, that he fell from his branch. "CRAP!" he hit the ground. HARD._

* * *

 **Bill Cipher: "Ha ha! Pain is hilarious!"**

* * *

Or, at least, his pain is. Sorry if I'm being insensitive, but this is the most realistic this character has been since he first emerged from the fires of He- I mean, The Reverse World! It's just really hard to feel empathy for this guy.

* * *

 _"gah, my skull..." rubbing his head, his bangs moved, revealing his eye socket, causing a collective gasp._

* * *

What? Oh, yeah, there were other Pokémon, too. Sorry, I completely forgot since they _weren't expanded on at all!_

(Kec sighed, before turning to the camera) Look, this is a message to FXCF, the author of this story. You can do really good descriptions when you put your mind to it, but because you keep neglecting to describe things that really matter, such as the Pokémon surrounding Nixus at the moment. So, it only feels like I'm reading half of a story, rather than getting the whole picture. The other half is just missing, gone who knows where. All I'm saying is you should try to think about what everyone else is going to be reading, and try to describe to them what you see in your inner eye. Even if it seems superfluous, every scrap of detail can help. (Or hurt, if you do it too much. Keep a watch for describing too much as well, as that just slogs the whole story down.)

* * *

 _"what the?!""what is he?""why does he look fluffy?"_

* * *

 **Peter Griffin: "OH, MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?!"**

* * *

Sorry, but I really feel that way in regards to the "fluffiness" of the protagonist. I get it. He's based on Flareon, which is a really fluffy Pokemon. As I said, one of my best friends is a Flareon! But, do I go around spouting how fluffy he is everywhere I go?

...Well, yes. But, eventually, it becomes an extremely moot point. Moot to the point when nobody gives a hoot about how fluffy you are. So, unless his fluffiness provides _something_ to the plot, then it's best just to stop talking about it.

(Heck, the main character of my story, Pokémon Resurrection, is a Keldeo. But, I don't keep going on about how everyone thinks he's a brony now. Same principle.)

* * *

 _nixus blinked a few times. what are they.. oh. "eh, sorry for getting close to yah pups, mea femina."_

* * *

(Kec slams his head on the desk.) It's come to the point that every time Nixus even opens his mouth, it's just a huge cringe-fest. Is he actually trying to _flirt_ with the mother Arcanine? Who even talks like that? Not a normal person, I can tell you that much!

* * *

 _she growled. "but i got a question, why did you lash out with the intent to kill? i mean, a growl would of worked." nixus asked, rubbing his neck._

* * *

(Kec stares blankly at the page, before slowly turning his head to the camera)

Has this guy not even seen a Pokémon mother in the wild? News flash, but whether in the real world or in fantasy land, parents with newly born children will literally lash out at anything that they perceive as a threat to their young. That's why you stay away from animals during that stage, because they _will_ try to kill you if you get too close.

(Haunter pops his head into the room) "Nice safety message for the kids."

(Kec shrugs) Of course! I'm all about safety!

(Haunter appears to hide his amusement) "This coming from the guy who spent a day in the hospital for sliding down the stairs on a cookie sheet."

...Get out of here...

* * *

 _the arcanine growled softly, before turning her head in confusion. "you, did not mean harm?" nixus nodded. "i did not know their was a den here, actually." the mother relaxed, slightly._

* * *

Um, need I remind everyone that it was still humans who pretty much enslaved everyone and killed off the Legendaries, despite how impossible that is? I don't know about anyone else, but if I was one of those Pokémon, I'd probably try to kill Nixus before he hurt anyone, just because of how bad those rotten humans became.

Also, what are the other Pokémon doing? Are they just standing around like dummies until something happens? Why am I expecting something rational to come out of this story anymore?

* * *

 _before anyone knew what hit them, a shout went out from behind the pokemon. "there she is! the stupid mutt that bit me! shoot her, and the freaks near her!"_

* * *

(Kec frowns) Right. Of course they have guns. Why not have guns? It's not like people own creatures that breathe fire and blast electricity out of their cheeks. What ever happened to peace and harmony between all beings? We all don't have to go on mass killing sprees just because of something that _we_ probably did.

* * *

 **Rodney King: "Why can't we all just get along?"**

* * *

 _before she could move, a bullet fired towards her, and before nixus knew what he was doing, he took a bullet to the heart._

* * *

 **Grug: "And, DIE!" *splats red handprint on webpage***

* * *

(Kec chuckles, before sighing) I wish, but as according to the fact that there are still fourteen chapters left, I don't see this being a possibility in the near future. Anyway, let's just get this final chapter done and over with.

* * *

 _oh booooooiiii_

* * *

Why is he sounding like Buhdeuce from Breadwinners? And why is that the first thing to come to my mind? (Kec shudders)

* * *

 _nixus looked down at the puncture point, eye widened._

* * *

Well, most people say "gunshot wound," or something of the like, but whatever floats your boat.

* * *

 _not in fear, or surprise, but in rage._

* * *

Or pain? Any pain? I mean, I've never been shot before, but I think that'd be a bit, oh I don't know, electrifyingly painful!? Just saying.

* * *

 _they dare try to shoot a mother?! they will pay..._

* * *

Again, _this_ is your protagonist? I mean, I've seen "edgy" characters before. (Who can forget the Shadow the Hedgehog game?) But this just feels forced somehow. I don't think he deserved to be brought back to life, even if he did have a huge patricidal agenda that would help everyone in the long run.

There's also the fact that he's completely unrealistic. I mean, if I was just shot, my first instinct would be to shout, "Ah! Oh, Arceus! I've been shot! Someone call the ambulance! I'm bleeding to death!" And etcetera. Basically, one's normal reaction is to worry about their own injuries, not to seek revenge on an admittedly evil act.

* * *

 _a fat teenager ran over the hill, next to the shooter._

* * *

 **Susan and Mary Test: "Phat, with a 'ph,' not an 'f.' There's a difference you knnow."**

* * *

 _both wore blue khakis, a blue shirt [that did NOT fit] and a red cap._

* * *

Yep. The professionalism is just oozing from this story. You can tell because he's using square brackets, which are really only used in coding and junk. Also, do both of them have shirts that don't fit? Has the human race fallen into obesity because they won against the Pokemon? You're not making this very clear, dude.

* * *

 _nixus stood there, swaying lightly on his feet. the gunner looked at him with confusion. "hey kid, what are you-HOLY!" before the hunter could finish, nixus ripped the bullet from his heart._

* * *

(Kec stares at that line, mouth hanging open) Wha- What kind of line was that? He shot a bullet at Nixus, not an arrow or a spear! That isn't something you just rip out of you. You'd have to dig your fingers into your chest, most likely with excrusiating pain, before finding the bullet and pulling it out! Not to mention the fact that the bullet was _literally_ fired into his heart. I don't know if demons have different physical limits or not (probably so...), but that description was all kinds of off!

* * *

 _no blood flowed. not a drop."wh-what the hell?!" nixus looked up. his eye staring into their souls. "well, talk about an introduction. huh?"_

* * *

Well, they dun goofed! Also, typically I rag on stories for using commas too much, but this story actually needs more commas. Case in point, this entire section. Let's rewrite this to include proper commas. (I'll add proper sentence structuring and capitalization because that still bugs me.)

 _No blood flowed, not a drop. "Wh-What the hell?!" he stammered._ (- Again, something that still bothers me.) _Nixus looked up at them, his eyes staring into their souls. "Well," he said, "talk about an introduction, huh?"_

And once again, that wasn't even me trying. Like I said, some proper grammar can go a long way in the writing business.

* * *

 _a sour grin bled through his skin, showing his fangs._

* * *

...What? Seriously, what was that supposed to mean? Did you mean his mouth? That was just a weird sentence.

* * *

 _the teenager backed up. "wh-wat the hell are you?" "oh, you know, i'm just human"_

* * *

Er, was that supposed to be ironic? Because that's obviously a lie right there.

* * *

 _the hunter looked around before speaking. "ok kid, listen, if you just let us kill that dangerous mutt, then we will forget ever seeing you. ok?"_

* * *

Hm. Sounds legit. (Not really.) Let's see what Nixus has to say to that.

* * *

 _nixus dropped his grin. "and why in hell would i do that?" the arcanine backed up with her pups, fearing for their mother's safety._

* * *

Wait, was that sentence talking about the Arcanine, or the baby Growlithes? 'Their' is the wrong word to use.

(Kec slams his head onto the table) Why am I bothering to ask anymore...?

* * *

 _"because that mutt is dangerous, she attacked this kid!" nixus gave a bored look. "last i checked, the law stated that pokemon that attack and harm a person will be caught and for any reason for attacking the human, like rabies, the shadowing, or if they got close to their nest or den." nixus gave a roll of his head to her den. "like this one." 'idiot.'_

* * *

(Kec, for once, smiled at the statement) Alright, so everything I said before is supposed to be applicable here. According to the laws of this world before humanity went loco, the offending Pokémon is supposed to be caught, checked out at a Pokémon Center, then released if nothing is wrong, not get shot on the spot. Assumably, mind you, it would probably just be left alone if it had pups like this mother Arcanine here.

So, good on you author for actually making that clear on what's supposed to happen, at least in Nixus' mind. Also, the nod to Gale of Darkness is always welcome!

* * *

 _the hunter looked confused. "but, the states that any violent pokemon should and will be put down? what, have you been dead for the past eight years?"_

* * *

Forgot the word "law," and that first statement from the hunter wasn't a question, so no question mark should be used. (If you wanna know, a period is definitely the best one to put there.)

* * *

 _nixus smiled cruel smile. "yep"_

* * *

(Kec frowned) Okay, besides the minor (in comparison) nitpick of the missing "a," I have to question Nixus' reaction right there. Unless he was, as I said before, in some kind of limbo while he was dead so he was aware of the passage of time, his first reaction should be confusion.

If you were removed suddenly out of your own time (by death), and suddenly find yourself in a much distant future where lots of things have changed, should you act all casual and not care that anything changed? Personally, I would wanna know what the heck was going on. But, not Nixus. To be honest, I have absolutely no idea what's going on in his mind, which in retrospect, might be what the author wanted. Either that, or his entire character is simply a mess.

Either way...

* * *

 _they looked at him, before the hunter rose his rifle. "MOVE!"the man fired, and missed nixus's head, but hit the mother in the leg, causing her to whine and growl in pain. her pups looked scared._

* * *

What the heck was that?! You don't tell someone to move and shoot them anyway. In the head, no less. That's just utterly idiotic. A true waste of a word if I ever heard one.

(Kec sighs) On the plus side, I suppose, it was a pretty accurate shot if he managed to hit her in the leg. So...nice shooting, Tex.

* * *

 _nixus quickly went to her side, looking at the wound. the shell went through her leg, and into her other paw._

* * *

And while he's checking on that, the hunter could easily have reloaded by now and took another shot at either of them. Seriously, aren't there like a whole bunch of other Pokémon around? Why aren't they doing anything? They are literally a bunch of superpowered animals, and much more powerful than a single gun.

* * *

 _nixus heard a feral growl, and it came through his lips. his eye sharpened, as a gutteral roar left his lips,_

* * *

(Kec starts rubbing his temples) I've been trying to not bring this up, but growls come from the throat, not the lips. Just...stop saying that. Please?

* * *

 _pulled back, revealing his four inch bladed fangs._

* * *

Four inches? Are you kidding me? The average human mouth is only barely four inches at it's widest point! Are you saying his teeth supposed to be looking like a Raikou's right now? Let me just say, he'll definitely be a dentist's worst nightmare.

* * *

 _black fire surround his body, no, black aura flowed from him. the hunter and teen backed up at the roar, exposing that he was not human. BUT BEAST._

* * *

I guess Nixus' odd blackened arm and tail didn't do it for them? They literally had to get him to go into beast mode in order for them to get the hint. Idiots.

* * *

 _"YOU DONE MESSED UP NOW!" a feral voice roared from his lips. all sarcasm, kindness, and love left his voice, giving him the voice of hell incarnate._

* * *

Er, was it even there before? I mean, while he was talking to the hunter and stupid kid? Eh, whatever.

* * *

 _his legs bended, and he launched forward, claws at the ready. he got to the teen first, and ripped his heart out, and ate it in front of the dying boy._

* * *

What, no resistance? I mean, I suppose it makes sense, considering he's a superhuman entity, but nothing from the teen before he got dead? That a little unfair to him as a character. (Though, based on this story, his entire day has been nothing but unfair.)

On a separate note, is anyone else having flashbacks of Indiana Jones and the Lost Temple from that scene?

* * *

 **Mola Ram: "Kali maa shakti de!" *rips out heart***

* * *

 _his face was covered in blood, soon licked off by his abnormally long tongue._

* * *

(Kec shivers) You know, there's something weird and off-putting about people with super long tongues.

(Haunter pops up behind Kec) "Well, you have a super long tongue. What does that make you?"

(Kec glares at Haunter) Hey! I was born with this.

"So was he, in a way."

...Touché.

* * *

 _and with a howl, he launched at the hunter, who was trying to reload. nixus grabbed the man by the neck, and bit into his neck, ripping it out._

* * *

Of course! He's a vampire/werewolf type of creature! No wonder he's so odd.

"Actually, he's a demon. It's, like, in the title."

Quit ruining my fun!

(Haunter frowns) Fine then. Touchy.

* * *

 _but he wasn't done. soon he was ripping the man apart, consuming his insides, and flesh. his whole face was covered with blood. soon, his rage went down. but by the time this had ended, the man was missing most of his insides._

* * *

Whoa, geez! Intense gore alert! I mean, I've seen some pretty bad gore, but dang, being eaten alive is not a very nice prospect. Though, if I'm honest, these characters seem like they're just fodder for Nixus to kill, simply to show how ferocious he can be under bad circumstances. I wish I could see more people using their characters as actual characters, rather than just a means to an end.

* * *

 _nixus licked the blood off his face, savoring the feral flavors that his rage had given him._

* * *

Yeah, I can sympathize with Nixus here. I was in such a situation just last week!

"You mean when you were at that all-you-can-eat buffet?"

(Kec sighs dreamily) Yeah, all those feral flavors just filling my mouth all at once. It was heaven.

"Until you saw the bill."

Well, who the heck charges ten bucks for a flippin' drink! I thought soft drinks were refillable!

"You really gotta read the fine print, dude. Your stomach might've been full, but your wallet left empty."

(Kec sobs hysterically)

* * *

 _soon, his sanity returned, as he heard a groan of pain from the mother arcanine. he stood up, blood dripping from his claws. he licked them off, before turning to the small family of arcanine and growlithe, looking at him in fear._

* * *

(Kec continues sobbing, before Haunter gets him to return to the story)

For once, I think I sympathize with the characters here. I've been poking fun at him a lot, but if I saw this guy in real life, honestly, I'd start running for the hills. Especially with his affinity for the taste of blood. What the heck is up with that? There are a lot tastier things than blood, like ice cream, pizza...

"Kecleon heads."

(Kec turns back to Haunter) What was that?

"Er, nothing." (Haunter looks around the room, nervous) "Um, I think I left the oven on. See ya." (Haunter flees from the room, leaving Kec confused)

Alrighty then, let's continue.

* * *

 _soon he walked over with a small pouch in his hand._

* * *

Where the heck did he get that?

* * *

 _kneeling down, he opened the pouch, reeling berries that could heal her._

* * *

It's "revealing," but whatever.

* * *

 _pulling a small bowl out of his pocket,_

* * *

Again, how long has that been there? There's literally no explanation as to when that had been there.

* * *

 _he crushed a few berries, that he knew could stop the pain. this was gonna take a while_

* * *

So he can murder people and eat them alive, and he's a medic? What kind of Gary Stu character are you trying to make here. Literally, he's this perfect character who can do anything he flippin' wants with barely any drawbacks. And this forced darkness is really driving me up the wall. I suppose the title of this story is true. The demon truly has awoken, and he's a literal monster who shouldn't have been brought back, in my opinion. Unless something comes along to remind him he's supposed to be a human, some kind of danger to his life, I don't see Nixi-Stupid Name being a very likeable character.

(Kec sighs sadly) So, that was Chapters 1-4 of **the demon awakes**. I'll reserve my final rating of this story for when I'm finished with the rest of the remaining 13 chapters, but, overall, as far as I've read, this isn't a great story. At all. The concept of capitalization is apparently unheard of to this author, and that's among many of the spelling and grammar errors that fill this story. Now, this might be saved if the story was good, great even, but it's at best only somewhat decent. A very Gary Stu-ish type character that's extremely unlikable. Unnecessary explanations of gore while the rest of the story is essentially left blank. Oh, and let's not forget that interspecies rape that's going on with Mew. Seriously, what the f*** was with that?! If you wanted to bring hybrids into this story, you could've used DNA splicing or some other Jurassic Park crud like that. Not having horny humans rape a probably bound Mew. (Though, now that I think about it, that kind of hits several fetishes right on the head, butI really don't want to talk about that.)

Still, though, I made a promise that I would see this story to its end, and that's what I'm gonna do. So, next time on this story, I will be reviewing Chapters 5-8 of **the demon awakes** , so watch out for that. Also, if you have a suggestion for a story for me to read after this one is done, than please tell me via PM (preferred) or through the reviews, along with an actual review, if you don't mind. Seriously, give me any feedback on what I'm doing wrong or what I'm doing right. Seriously, I'd love to know. And if you don't wanna wait for me to take forever on this, I'd highly suggest you go and read **The Angry Bug Show** by DragonNiro. It's basically this exact story, but, you know, a lot better.

Oh, and don't worry. I'm gonna take a little break from this story so I can work on some of my other stories, so watch out for those to be updated relatively soon! I'm especially gonna work on either Pokémon Resurrection or Five Nights of Truth or Dare at Freddy's, my two most popular stories, so watch out for those.

Oh, and finally, I'm gonna do a review of something else at this story's end. I'm going to review...the reviews from my last chapter!

* * *

 **Faust: "You thought you could make this comment without me noticing. DIDN'T YOU?!"**

* * *

Ahem. Regardless, here's my response to your reviews.

* * *

 _ **St. Elmo's Fire:**_ _"Non-story entries are banned on this site. This should go on a blog or forum thread."_

* * *

Well, thank you for that. Yes, I fully understand that my formatting might be a bit...against the rules. That's why, starting from my next chapter, this story will be formatted more like an actual story, instead of a blog, which this kinda technically is. So, yeah, watch out for that!

* * *

 _Johnathen (Guest Reviewer): This is interesting also can you review ashes of the past_

* * *

(Kec facepalms) And this is exactly what I was just talking about. Listen, man, what the heck are you talking about? There are probably a ton of stories with a title like that, and you didn't even give me the name of an author. What, am I supposed to read your mind to know what you want me to review? No, I will not read your suggestion. Not unless you clarify as to which exact story you want me to read. And that goes for everybody else as well. I'll say it again, I will only take a look at a story if, and only if, I have the full title and author told to me, preferably through PM. And that's a big if, so you'd better make a good case for it. Otherwise, talk to the hand! (Kec holds his hand up to the screen)

"I thought that was a paw."

I don't know! I've been confused ever since I first got onto the FanFiction scene as to whether I have hands or paws.

"Well, no need to be touchy about it."

(Kec sighs) Anyway, that's all I have to say. Thank you all for reading! Please remember to give me a big review to tell me how well or not well I'm doing, and be sure to stay tuned until next time for the next chapter! See ya!

* * *

 _Notable Mentions:_

 _Two Stupid Dogs_

 _Star Wars_

 _IcyNirvana_

 _Five Nights at Freddy's_

 _Piemations_

 _Doctor Who_

 _Undertale_

 _Dorkly_

 _Fairly Odd Parents_

 _Regular Show_

 _Monty Python_

 _Star vs. The Forces of Evil_

 _ASDF Movies_

 _Gravity Falls_

 _Family Guy_

 _The Croods_

 _Breadwinners_

 _Shadow the Hedgehog_

 _Johnny Test_

 _Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom_

 _JelloApocalypse_


	3. Chapter 3

As the screen turned from static to an actual picture, Kec could be seen standing in front of his plain-looking desk, smiling and waving at his technically imaginary fans.

"Howdy everyone!" he said excitedly, "Welcome back to my story! Now, I know I probably should be working on my own stuff instead of reading other people's work for the third time in a row, but I couldn't help myself! This whole thing is turning out to be just as fun as I thought it was going to be, and I seriously wanted to make at least one more chapter before I got back to my original works. Plus, it's finally in full story format, since _some_ people couldn't handle it as it was."

Suddenly, Haunter jumped into the frame, blocking Kec out entirely from view. "Plus, you have me here to keep you company!"

Kec pushed Haunter out of the way, which was surprisingly impressive, as he was a Normal type pushing around a Ghost type. "Er, yeah. I suppose that Haunter has officially become my new co-host on here. You know, since he won't leave me alone."

Haunter frowned. "Well, that's mean."

Kec turned to Haunter with a deadpanned expression. "Dude, you were hovering over me all of last night."

Haunter appeared surprised. "What? Wh-Why would you think I would do that?"

"Because you were salivating all over my face."

"The eyes are the tastiest part." The ghost said dreamily, completely oblivious to the freaked out expression from Kec.

"Er, Haunter," he said quietly, knocking Haunter out of his reverie, "why don't you go get us both some doughnuts? I could use a snack."

Haunter shrugged, which looked weird since he didn't have shoulders to shrug with. "Alright. Not as tasty as eyeballs, but it works." He then floated off-screen, eventually passing through the nearby wall.

Kec shivered after thinking about his eyeball comment, before turning back to the camera. "Right. So, today, we'll be reading chapters 5-8 of **the demon awakes.** I know you guys may not be excited for it. Heck, I'm not anywhere near excited for it! But, I'm ready to take one for the team. So, let's get to it!"

* * *

 **Review**

 _the demon awakes (Part 2)_

 _By FXCF_

* * *

 _eeeyyyyy lmao_

* * *

Kec frowned. "Aaand straight back into no capital letters, I see. Fine, I've pretty much given up any hope in seeing any proper capitalization at this point. Also, I've got to stop highlighting these stupid and terrible author's notes."

* * *

 _it had been three days seince nixus lost it and killed the two humans. arcanine lost her mate to a hunter four years ago, and that their was a city east of the den._

* * *

Kec sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Okay, obvious misspell of the word 'since,' and a probably less obvious misspell of the word 'there.' 'Their' indicates possession, such as saying 'their house,' while 'there' describes basically any location that isn't here. Common mistake.

"What's not so forgivable is the lack of coverage about the Arcanine. You had a real opportunity to explore this character and give her a reason to exist. You gave her plenty to work with, especially if her mate had been previously killed by humans, which would really have driven home what kind of world this is now. You could even have gone as far as letting Nixus take care of her during that three day timespan and seem somewhat more human than he's shown himself to be. But, you just relegated her as someone just as important as those humans Nixus killed in the previous chapter. In other words, not important at all. Just like some random NPC in a video game that you talk to once and never see again because you can't be bothered to. Such wasted potential..."

* * *

 _"well, i best be off." the mother looked confused. "why?" nixus gave her a forlorn glance towards her leg. it had healed faster than nixus thought it would._

* * *

"Remove the first 'her,' as Nixus is not giving the Arcanine the forlorn glance, but was directing it towards her leg. Also, that seems a bit too casual to say to her if you were leaving. You protect both her and her cubs, literally take a shot to the chest and help her heal from her own gunshot wound, and suddenly he announces pretty casually that he's just gonna leave? That's a bit...insensitive, in my opinion."

Kec crossed his arms and mumbled under his breath, "If you were trying to go for a character like Piccolo from Dragon Ball Z, then that might be fine. But, from what I've seen from him, that really doesn't seem to be his style, if he even has a style."

* * *

 _"well, i have to learn what's changed, and where mew is."_

* * *

Kec had a thoughtful expression on his face. "Well, I was about to complain that Nixus has no idea whether or not Mew is actually alive, and he shouldn't be aware of this. But, then I realized that he might be hoping that Mew is alive somewhere, and wants to know where to find her. That's...awfully nice. I sorta like that."

* * *

 _arcanine looked bewildered at the boy before her."once again, why?"_

* * *

"Er, I think the first question out of my mouth would've been, 'What?! You actually met Mew?! That's insane!' But, considering the fact that he had three whole days to tell her, I figure I can let that slide. Though, again, spending some actual time developing that Arcanine as a character during that three day period would've been wonderful."

* * *

 _nixus smiled. "cause, i gotta thank her."_

* * *

"Minor hitch, but 'cause' is a reduction of the word 'because.' Therefore you should add an apostrophe to the front to signify the omission of the 'be-.' Why? **'Cause** it's good grammar!"

Haunter appeared behind Kec and asked, "Why'd you stress that word?"

Kec turned around to give him a disappointed look. "Think about it real hard. What was I just saying?"

Haunter curled up his hand and rested his ghostly head on his fist. (Which was easy, since he was mostly a head.) Seeing as he was in the midst of deep thought, Kec turned back to the camera and stated, "Well, while he's figuring that out, let's continue."

* * *

 _arcanine nodded, and stood._

* * *

"Er, she was shot through two of her legs, right? So...does she have any trouble standing? I think that's a pretty important detail, don't you?"

* * *

 _"it was nice meeting a human that did not want to kill me. thank you." she dissapeared into her den._

* * *

Kec smiled at the sentence. "Aw, that's so sweet! Shame my happy feelings were ruined by that misspelling of 'disappeared,' on top of the whole not capitalizing anything this you've been doing. I am actually pretty sad that she wasn't expanded on. I would've loved to have seen more of that Arcanine.

"By the way, are her pups sleeping or something? They haven't been here this whole time while Nixus and Arcanine were talking. I kinda wanted to see them one last time."

* * *

 _nixus sighed, and, after standing, left the forest. his destination? his first destination, back when he was a trainer._

* * *

"Whoa! Too many commas there, bucko! Remove the one after 'sighed,' and make it 'standing **up** ,' okay? Also, wasn't he in the middle of the forest? You don't just simply leave a forest from some random spot. You make your way out, and then you leave. Think carefully about the setting!

* * *

 **Boromir: "You do not just simply leave a forest."**

* * *

 _brazinkia town_

* * *

Kec shrugged. "It's better setting placement than the desolate town thing from last time."

* * *

 _"whoa... now thats a site youd never see anywhere else" nixus mumbled to himself._

* * *

Kec frowned. "Well, I have...mixed feelings about this. First, the author-"

"You were just talking about that word, so you used it in a clever fashion to emphasize your point!" Haunter announced suddenly.

Kec turned back to Haunter. "Have you seriously been trying to figure that out all this time?"

"Yes."

Kec stared at Haunter with a considering look. "Oookay then. Glad you figured that out, man.

"Anyways, as I was saying, the author completely forgot about apostrophes here, and once again, there's no comma at the end of the sentence within the quotation marks. However, finally, there's an indication of who's talking now. So, that's an improvement!"

* * *

 _brazinkia was a buitifful town,_

* * *

" **OW!** What the heck was that? That spelling was _way_ off. It's spelled 'beautiful,' okay? Geez!"

* * *

 _bordering on becoming a city, with it's populatin breaching a hundred under the regulation for city status._

* * *

Kec stares at the screen for a minute, before slowly putting his face into his hands and groaning. "It's switched from one kind of cringiness to another kind, especially for someone who can't stand the butchering of the English language. For starters, it's 'population,' with another 'o' there at the end. 'It's' is supposed to be 'its,' as the first one is an abbreviation of 'it is,' while the second one shows possession, as it does here. Also, though it may be personal preference, I would have wanted to say 'borderlining,' rather than 'bordering.' But, again, that'd be my preference."

* * *

 _nixus did not care though, cause he had three missions. one, get info. two, kill father. three, freedom. well, that's gonna be essey._

* * *

Kec's eyebrows furrowed. "Really? That's a little simplistic, don't you think? I mean, I personally would've elaborated a little more on what exactly Nixus is trying to do here. What kind of info is he looking for? Freedom for what? The Pokémon? And I still don't know how significant his father is exactly, or why exactly Nixus needs to kill him. Not only am I completely uninvested right now, but I'm just plain confused as to where this story is going at all. Oh, and you misspelled 'easy.' That's a problem too."

Kec sighed in exhaustion. "So...yeah. This chapter's done. Luckily, it was pretty short, but it seems to be just more of the same. However, I have to say that I was actually interested in that Arcanine for a bit, and I really wanted more from her. Unfortunately, that doesn't look like that'll happen, so now I'm just a bit more disappointed than I was before." Kec then leaned back in his chair, taking in a deep breath before exhaling loudly. "So, onto Chapter 6. Maybe there might be something worthwhile in this chapter for once."

* * *

 _Well let's get started then, eh?_

* * *

Kec's eyes widened and he straightened up in his chair. "Wait, an actual capital letter at the start? Can this mean...?"

* * *

 _Nixus all but wandered through the small city/town._

* * *

 **Brian: "Yes, yes! Yes."**

* * *

"Oh, my gosh! Finally!" He exclaimed, looking excited. "He's actually using capital letters at the start of the sentence, something that has been extremely lacking in every chapter before this one! All I can say is, thank you for finally following one of the most basic rules of grammar!"

* * *

 _Man had it changed heavily. His old apartment was now a church,_

* * *

"That's pretty ironic."

* * *

 _his old elementary is now a high school, and were those some ralts being thrown around? Yep, it was._

* * *

 **Sesame Street Cast: "One of these things is not like the other."**

* * *

 _A charizard hybrid was fighting a young female ralts, and the ralts was losing._

* * *

Kec leans back into his chair and groans loudly. "I mean, I knew this was going to come up eventually ever since the whole 'Mew being raped' thing, but I still don't wanna talk about it. Okay, first, how exactly is this Charizard a hybrid? Is he a human with Charizard parts, a Charizard with human parts, or is he just simply an anthro Pokémon? Knowing that would be so nice!

"Second, if he was a child of Mew, wouldn't that make him, at the most, about eight years old? I mean, Mew was captured eight years ago, so it only makes sense.

"And finally, how do you know it's a female Ralts? If it's feral (and I'm assuming it is since he doesn't say it's another hybrid), then there is literally no difference between a male or a female Ralts. And one more thing. Aren't all Pokémon, like, enslaved or whatever with collars that disable their powers? If that's true, than of course this Charizard guy would be winning. Ralts would literally have no way of defending itself. Quite a few missteps here, my friend."

* * *

 _And nixus thought his life couldn't get any weirder._

* * *

Kec appeared annoyed. "Really, because this is stranger than being literally brought back from the dead?!" Kec then sighed wearily. "Whatever..."

* * *

 _He walked over, after making Sure his tail was tucked in and numb._

* * *

"Random capitalized word there. Also, sure, why not let him do that with his tail? Forget biology! He's a Gary Stu, who doesn't give a moment's thought about whether or not something is actually physically possible. Just, go for it!

"Also, that's your only form of disguise for yourself? Do you have nothing for your canine-like face, or your _blackened demonic arm?!_ No? We're all just going to ignore that? Okay, great!"

* * *

 _"hey, what are you guys doing?" he asked, fearing the answer._

* * *

"'Fearing?'" Kec asked, confused. "What's he got to be afraid about? Sure, it's a point of concern, but to someone who ripped apart a couple of humans in a matter of seconds, he shouldn't be afraid."

* * *

 _"oh, hey dude, just battling or slaves. Right bro?" he one boy said to the other. The other boy nodded._

* * *

Kec stared at that section, making slight but exaggerated motions with his hands while a strained look persisted on his face as he was processing what he just read. "Okay, what?!" Kec said, finally. "They're not even called Pokémon anymore? They're just slaves now? Seriously, WTF?! Also, it's 'our,' not 'or.' Just a minor nitpick within a major problem."

* * *

 _Nixus felt sick at these idiots._

* * *

"I could say the same about you, Nixus."

* * *

 _He looked at the hybrids. The charizard was obviously female, with amber eyes, and a small loin-cloth and wrappings to hide her bare flesh, -er, scales. She had scars covering her body, and her left eye was molded shut._

* * *

"Seriously? Another character without depth perception? How could a plague like this be affecting this world so ravenously? Will there be nothing but cyclops people and Pokémon before this is over? Quick, get my eye shields!"

"Way ahead of you," Haunter said, holding up a pair of safety goggles like what is used in laboratories and construction work.

Kec quickly grabbed them and slapped them on. "Whew! Anyway, besides the eye plague that's going on, that's a fine description. Though, even though it's obviously anthropomorphic Pokémon we're talking about, I'd like to know just _how_ anthropomorphic they are, because there are varying levels of anthropomorphism. Regardless, let's continue."

* * *

 _The ralts was in no better condition. Her hair was singed, her dress cut, and scars adorned her entire face and torso._

* * *

Kec nodded approvingly. "Again, good description, especially with adding her having singed hair, since she was just fighting that Charizard. Though, now that I know that the Ralts is indeed a hybrid like the Charizard, I'd like to know how anthropomorphized it really is compared to a normal Ralts. I'm just really curious."

* * *

 _Nixus felt a rage, the same rage that led him to kill the hunters in the woods._

* * *

"Um, I'm pretty sure that teenager wasn't a hunter. But, I suppose he was given such little description that I can't really say, nor do I really care."

* * *

 _"hey, you should be kinder to them." "why? Their just stupid animals."_

* * *

Kec rolls his eyes. "Wrong 'their.' That one shows possession over something. You mean 'they're,' the contraction of 'they are.' Also, we lost the pronouns again. Try to be consistent with those, and your writing might actually look competent."

* * *

 **Tohab: "This has been Food For Thought, only where brains eat."**

* * *

 _Nixus growled, freighting the two brothers._

* * *

 _Skit Start~_

 _"Oh man, bro! Let's get out of here!" said one of the brothers. Suddenly they ran towards a freight train that was just passing by and leaped into an open car, speeding off towards the horizon, going who knows where._

 _Nixus stared off in the direction of the train as it left, dumbfounded. "Huh. Well, that was easier than I thought."_

 _~Skit End_

* * *

 _Before they could react, nixus sliced their heads off with his elbow spikes. The two corpses fell, and the two hybrids backed away in fear._

* * *

"Seriously? Again? Dude, you don't have to go around killing every single person that ticks you off! You could, I dunno, try to actually converse with them before giving them the old 'elbow spike to the neck.' Just saying."

"Um, technically, he did," Haunter added quickly.

"And another thing," Kec continued, blatantly ignoring Haunter's remark, "a question I can't believe I forgot to ask before, where exactly are they here? Are they in a park? An alley? At a fountain? Because, depending on that exact location, there could be other people around. People who could've seen Nixus beheading a couple of teens and called for the police. That's why setting is so important. This is going back to things like the Pokémon in the forest from before. There are more people in existence than the main characters and the NPC's directly in the spotlight. So, utilize them to further the story and add more depth."

* * *

 _'w-what is he?' 'I don't know chilo!' nixus looked intrigued by the two poke-girls._

* * *

Kec slowly lowered his forehead onto his clenched fist. "And, again, this sounds like he's into them on a very sexual level, like back with the Arcanine. You shouldn't try to actively parallel Undertale by making him flirt with every single monster he comes across."

* * *

 **IUHAFR Flowey: "The point of flirting is to get someone to fall in love with you."**

 **IUHAFR Frisk: "Why?"**

 **IUHAFR Flowey: "SO THEY DON'T EXPECT IT WHEN YOU KILL THEM!"**

* * *

 _He stepped forward, and they almost leaped back. 's-s-stay back!' 'chilo, I'm scared...'._

* * *

Kec winced. "Why did you use a triple period there, only to use another period on the outside of the quotation marks? That is literally just a misuse of punctuation.

"Also, which one is Chilo again? I'm sorry, but we're coming across the exact same problem as last time. You're not specifying who exactly is talking, so I'm just left to guess who's actually speaking here."

* * *

 _Nixus raised his hand, in a position that said, to them at least, that he was going to slap them._

* * *

Kec raised his eyebrow in clear confusion. "They think he's going to slap them?! They literally only just met him, and their first impression of him is him beheading their former masters. I'm pretty sure they'd be more worried about staying alive than getting smacked in the face."

Haunter appears behind Kec, a creepy look spread across his face. "Did someone say getting licked in the face?"

Without missing a beat, Kec turned around and shouted, "Sucker Punch!" He shot his fist, which was covered in a black energy, right into Haunter's face and sent him flying into and phasing through the back wall, as he was a ghost.

"Ow!" cried Haunter's now nasally voice from the other side of the wall. "Why'd you do that?"

Kec sighed and turned back to the screen. "Because I said 'smacked in the face,' and since you wanted to volunteer for it, I was only happy to oblige you."

"Meanie!"

"You started it!"

"When did I start it?"

"The first time you started sucking on my head like a stupid Remoraid!"

"...Fine. Have it your way."

* * *

 _Chilo braced herself, but a blow never came. Instead, a warm feeling raced through her, and nixus's hand was covered in a light green glow._

* * *

Kec's eyebrows rose again, this time in surprise. "Wow! I'm actually impressed with the spelling this time around, except for not capitalizing Nixus' name there. The author actually used some pretty flavorful text, and taken out of context of the whole story, I would almost expect something really good!

"Though, if this scene is building up to what I think is going to happen, I am _sooo_ gonna flip out very soon."

* * *

 _Chilo's wounds closed, and she felt rejuvenated._

* * *

Kec's expression deadpanned. "Right. Just as I thought. Sorry, guys, but I'm gonna have to cut you off for a minute. I just need to do something." Kec reached over and turned the camera off, leaving nothing but static on the screen. However, he forgot to turn his microphone off, so he could still be heard.

What followed afterward was a series of crashing, banging, ripping, screaming, yelling, and other loud noises. After about a minute of this, Kec turned the screen back on, and the room behind him was a mess. The bed was overturned, there was books and paper scattered all over the ground, and some of the wallpaper was ripped clean off. Kec sat down in the chair, breathing heavily. "Again, sorry for doing that guys," he said, "but I needed to do some venting. So, let me go over the reasons why the fact that Nixus now has _**flippin' healing powers**_ is all kinds of off!

"First, Nixus is now 100% a Gary Stu! He was already encroaching on it when he could apparently rip people apart within a matter of seconds, and I _tried_ to ignore the fact that he pulled medical supplies out of literally nowhere, but him having healing powers confirms that he is indeed, without a doubt in my mind, a Gary Stu. He's simply a character who can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, with no drawbacks whatsoever! Which is, by far, one of the most annoying types of characters you could possibly make!

"Second, this doesn't have anything to do with Flareon, at all. Need I remind you, author, that your own character in your own story is a fusion between a human and a Flareon, meaning that he should have access to the same powers as a normal Flareon. Now, while this allowed me to excuse even the whole animalistic approach to killing people, this, in no way, can excuse the idiocy of the fact that he has healing powers. Flareon literally has access to no healing moves, so something like what he's doing should not be possible. All you did was add to his Stu-iness and made him even less likeable to me.

"And finally, okay, fine, he has healing powers. So, why exactly didn't he use it on the Arcanine? Why just have him treat her wounds using medical herbs and berries, which honestly is a bit more believable than the healing powers? I feel like you're making this stuff up as you go along. I'm thinking that while you were writing this, you thought, 'Hey, you know what would be cool? If Nixus had healing powers,' and you just decided to go ahead and do it. But, in doing so, you screwed with the continuity of your own story. So, next time, just think about what you're gonna write, because if this kind of crud keeps up, before long, I will have a mental breakdown!"

* * *

 _'WH-what?'. The ralts looked interested by the glow. 'are you alright?' nixus was shocked that he knew perfect poke-speech. Talk about rare._

* * *

Disdain was written all over Kec's face as he stared at that sentence in disbelief. "But...but...you don't need to speak their language to talk to them! Not a bit! You see Trainers talking to their Pokémon all the time, whether playing with them, commanding them in battle, or just casually speaking to them. And this is universally true in the games, anime, and manga. The only real thing you need for that sort of two-way conversation is to understand them, which we already established was a thing back with Arcanine. So, giving him the ability to speak their language is pretty much pointless!"

* * *

 _The poke-girls looked surprised that this human knew poke-speech,_

* * *

"Aren't we all?" Kec said with a snarky smile.

* * *

 _but chilo was still in a fighting position._

* * *

 **Markiplier: "Punch him right in his face."**

* * *

 _'you can put your fists down now.' Nixus said, his hand at his side._

* * *

Haunter floated in front of Kec and the camera. "Ooh. Sassy!"

"In an annoying way, yes." Kec said, trying to look around the opaque ghost. "Um, you mind?"

"Mind what?"

"Moving!"

"Huh?" Haunter suddenly realized where he was. "Oh, sorry." Haunter slipped out of the way.

Kec sighed and continued reading.

* * *

 _'I.. what?' they had never met a human that was kind. Well.. you can't really call nixus human, huh?_

* * *

"So, what's that supposed to mean? Literally every single human is evil now? I'm sure there are some decent humans left in the world. Like Pokémon activists or something."

Kec places his chin on his fist. "Now that I think about it, even though they were bad guys technically, where's Team Plasma or the Aether Foundation in all of this? I mean, their whole goal is to create peace between humans and Pokémon or help preserve Pokémon respectively. And even though in Black/White Team Plasma tried to do this by separating Pokémon from their Trainers, and the Aether Foundation was kind of thrown into a loop with Lusamine in Sun/Moon, they still should've been against the humans suddenly enslaving all of Pokémon-kind and killing the legendaries. N definitely wouldn't put up with this, that's for sure. I know this won't be expanded on at all, I still think it would be awesome to see Nixus getting help from N and whatever remains of Team Plasma, if that's a thing. Then again, if that happened, we'd have a competition between the two most ridiculously long names in the entire Pokémon world."

Kec shrugged, mainly to himself, and continued, sighing, "Anyway, two more chapters remain, so let's get to it!"

* * *

 _"wh-wha?" chilo said. her voice was rough, like she never drank anything._

* * *

Kec gasped. "Never?! She hasn't drank anything even once in her life? Wow, it's a wonder she didn't die from dehydration yet. Why, it's so-"

 **Army: "GET ON WITH IT!"**

"Alright, geez! I didn't think I'd get that treatment from my own meme! On a side note, though, isn't water bad for a Fire type like her? So, in a way, she should be-"

 **Peter Griffin: "OH, MY GOD! WHO THE HELL CARES?"**

"...Well. Fine then. Who cares what I think? Let's just continue the story. Whiners."

* * *

 _'i asked, are you alright?'_

* * *

"'Said,' not 'asked.' People don't usually say they asked something usually. They say they 'said' something. But, hey, what do I know?"

* * *

 _nixus was still confused at her fear. he killed the ones that were forcing her and the ralts to fight._

* * *

"In one of the most gruesome way possible without resorting to cannibalism like last time. Seriously, sometimes Nixus is Gary Stu-ish levels of intelligence, but he's mostly an idiot."

Kec put his fist under his chin. "Hm, just like another certain idiotic protagonist in the Pokémon universe..." (Seriously, why would he only bring one Pokémon to his Nimbasa City Gym battle?!)

* * *

 _'wh-why would you care?! your a dirty human!'_

* * *

"First, it's 'you're,' not 'your.' Second, do you _really_ think it's the best thing to insult the guy who just decapitated a couple of people right in front of you? Because calling someone a 'dirty human' ain't exactly a compliment here."

* * *

 _nixus resisted the urge to face palm. they saw his elbo spike and claws, right_

* * *

Kec gawked at the sentence, before he leaned back in his chair and started to laugh very mirthfully. Haunter was confused by the Kecleon's reaction. "What, um, are you laughing at, Kec? I, er, don't see the joke."

Still chuckling, Kec replied, "Oh, trust me. This whole story is a joke, and this joke is entirely on Nixus. He just basically made a point that these two hybrids should've figured out that he wasn't human due to his distinct features. So, let me ask this. If he knew he had features that marked him as not human, than what was the point of even trying to disguise himself with the two humans before? I literally made a point just a few minutes ago about how his lackluster disguise shouldn't have worked, and Nixus just came through and agreed with me. I'm starting to think that that protagonist of the author's own story is now saying how terrible the plot to this story really is!"

Haunter gazed at him blankly. "I still don't get the joke."

Kec sighed. "Never mind."

* * *

 _'cause i am not human, couldent you tell?'_

* * *

Kec slowly turns his gaze to the camera. "Really? 'Couldent?' That's not even a word! It's 'couldn't,' dude. This is one of those words where you need to add the apostrophe, since this word is essentially 'could not.' It is really simple grammar, and very easy to remember.

* * *

 _chilo looked at him with a sharp glare, not trusting him, while the ralts was looking at his arm. he looked down at it. confusion grew as he saw a odd quadruple helix like mark on his shoulder. it was light pink, and it seemed to glow._

* * *

"And he only noticed this now? He's been alive for about three or four days now, so he must've noticed something like that within that timespan." Kec crossed his arms. "Unless it only popped up just now, which is way too convenient for my taste, especially since there was really no trigger for it except for the beheading and the healing of that Charizard hybrid."

Haunter pointed at Kec in a very cool manner. "Though, the healing thing definitely triggered you!"

Kec shrugged, smiling. "Yeah, that's true enough."

* * *

 _"who gave you that mark?" the ralts asked, supprising nixus. 'um...ok i have no clue.'_

* * *

"And I will probably become insane because of this story long before he figures out what the mark means..." Kec said with a sigh.

* * *

 _the ralts looked confused, before shruging. she walked up to him, and prosented her hand in a handshake._

* * *

"What else would you use in a handshake?" Kec said with a sly smirk. "Your foot?"

"But I don't have feet." Haunter said sadly.

Kec's expression deadpanned at the Ghost's comment. "...Haunter, that was a rhetorical question."

"Oh, really? I mean, uh, of course it was! I was just testing you."

Kec sighed a long deep sigh. "Now I think I understand what Leon goes through all the time."

* * *

 _'well, it does not matter. the names lucifilae. yours?'_

* * *

Kec facepalmed. "Okay, why is she not abbreviating her words one second and then doing suddenly doing it another. That really doesn't help establish her way of talking in the least. One of my favorite authors, RGGodzilla, actually has one of the characters in his story, Pokémon: Okam Journeys, not using any abbreviations of any words in her way of talking, which, kind of like a black fur coat on a Flareon, is a great way to make your character unique! I'm just saying that keeping your characters speech patterns in check can be a pretty big thing, and can lead your story to great places!

"Although, why do you have another character with a completely ludicrous name? It's bad enough that we have whatever the heck the main character has, but you're doing this to the side characters as well? You know, there's no harm in using a generic girl name like Trisha or Samantha or something like that. You don't have to give every person a name that is too weird for people to try to remember."

* * *

 **Inigo Montoya: "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!"**

* * *

 _nixus shook her hand. 'nixuliium umbra.' he tried to remove his hand, but the charizard hybrid grabed his hand, forcing him to keep his and lucifiae's hands together._

* * *

 **Pedro: "Awkward..."**

* * *

"Besides that," Kec continued, arms crossed, "isn't this the same guy that had the strength to tear a human apart just a little bit ago? Why the heck would he have trouble escaping this weird handholding contest all of a sudden? And frankly, why would this Charizard have the gall to try to do this since literally just moments ago they were afraid of him killing them."

"Slapping them," Haunter corrected.

"Yeah, that doesn't make sense either. Regardless, this whole scene seems very stilted at best."

* * *

 _"huh?" the ralts grinned, before using her psychic abilitys to reach into his mind, looking for the awnser to where he got the mark. arceus, did it hurt. his body went numb._

* * *

Kec appeared confused here."Er, I'm pretty sure that a psychic reading someone else's mind wouldn't cause pain like that. Unless Nixus specifically is having a bad reaction to it due to his demonic nature, then he shouldn't be feeling any pain from this unless Lucifilae was purposefully doing this to him."

"Well, that's a pretty sadistic thought." Haunter commented under his breath.

"Indeed it is, my friend." Kec said, nodding.

"Man," Haunter crossed his arms, despite having the limbs to do so, "I have enough trouble reading my own mind to to worry about other people doing it for me!"

Kec arched an eyebrow at his companion, who didn't seem to understand how troubling that sounded, but then he turned his attention back to the story.

* * *

 _the ralts dug through his head at speeds which should be impossible. nixus knew he had to stop her, before she got to deep in._

* * *

"Deep into where, huh?" Kec said with a sly face.

Haunter backed away from Kec with a look of disgust. "Ew."

Kec looked confused for a second, before realizing what he said and facepalmed himself. "Dang it, I'm starting to sound like Flare!"

* * *

 _his left arm pulsed. and his own wave of psychic powers surged through him, going straight into the ralts._

* * *

Kec sighed, deciding to stand up suddenly which caused Haunter to flinch before the ghost backed off. "Yep," he said as he moved away from the desk, rubbing his temples, "Because why not give him additional psychic powers? He already had every other ability in the book. He just needed that last one to be a real true Gary Stu."

* * *

 _a light pink glow emanated from her eyes, before being launched back, just in time too._

* * *

"Now that's what I call dangerous in pink!" Haunter exclaimed while Kec continued to pace through the room trying to calm down.

* * *

 _chilo ran over to her. nixus looked down at his arm. the mark was glowing intently._

* * *

"Dude, quit it with the mini-sentences!" Kec exclaimed from the other side of the room. "All of those could've been strung together into a single sentence via comma! It's like a teenage girl trying to get her driver's license, but she keeps stopping and starting with the gas and brake every two feet. That's what you're doing here in my eyes, and that typically leads to a fail, and you ending up taking the bus!"

Haunter looked over at the Kecleon. "But, how do you know if-"

"Shut up." Kec said quickly, trying to move on with the story.

"...Rude."

* * *

 _a hyper beam was shot at him,_

* * *

"Way to throw something in completely out of left field, genius!" Kec spat, sitting back down in his chair. "A little forewarning to the reader would've been lovely. Not the characters involved, just the reader."

* * *

 _but his right arm absorbed the energy._

* * *

Kec stared at this line for a couple of second before leaning back in his chair with his hands covering his face, at least, he covered his eyes since that was all he could cover with his small hands, and started to scream into the air. Haunter, not wanting to be rude to Kec, moved towards the computer and continued on with the story while the Kecleon tried to calm down again.

* * *

 _'what?! he absorbed it?!' both hybrids said at the same time._

* * *

 **Vegeta: "His power level..." *crushes power scanner* "...it's over nine thousand!"**

 **Nappa: "What? Over nine thousand?! There's no way!"**

* * *

 _nixus formed a ball of hyper energy in his hand. the orb was mixed with dark energy, as well, so he decided to call it "dark beam"._

* * *

"This isn't flippin' Metroid Prime 2!" Kec shouted at the screen, "There aren't supposed to be Dark or Light versions of Hyper Beam! It's just Hyper Beam! So, quit it with the Gary Stu-ing of even basic Pokémon moves! This is getting old!"

* * *

 _"their he is! fire!" a man shouted behinde him, multiple rounds went into his back, not harming, just ticking him off._

* * *

"Right. Because we can't forget the fact that Nixus is completely immune to bullets. Like I said, he's an unstoppable force that literally no one could even hope to match up with. Seriously, I hope the author at least had a little foresight to this and gave him some kind of Kryptonite-style weakness or something. Otherwise, this is the most OP character I have ever seen in my life!"

"You know," Haunter said quietly after Kec's rant, "I'm immune to bullets, too. Does that mean I'm OP?"

Kec turned to Haunter, sighing. "No, Haunter. You're just a ghost. You can't be hurt by things like bullets."

"But I get hurt by Bullet Seed and Bullet Punch."

"That's different. Those are Pokémon moves."

"Oh...okay..." Haunter remained quiet at Kec moved on to the next part of the story.

* * *

 _he turned and fired the dark beam at the offencers._

* * *

"Was that supposed to be 'officers' or 'offenders?' That confused me a bit," said Kec.

* * *

 _the beam was so powerful, it caused a mini-sink hole to appear under the point of impact. their was no corpses._

* * *

Kec stopped reading and actually started to giggle to himself. Haunter, appearing worried, said, "Um, are you alright?"

Kec nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that this sentence is extremely ludicrous! 'A mini-sink hole appearing under the point of impact?' That's what many people call an 'impact crater.' You know, like when a meteor hits the ground really fast, and it leaves an impact crater? That's exactly what happened with Nixus' Dark Beam there. You could've saved so many words by just saying that!"

Kec chuckled again and shrugged. "Well, that's the first time this story managed to make me smile in a good while, so I guess I'm happy for that error. Anyway, on to the rest of the story."

* * *

 _"whoa. talk about over kill." nixus said before turning to the two hybrids. he was shocked to see the two in the hands of a normal machamp, who had a red coaller around his neck. his eyes were dull._

* * *

 **Knuckles: "OH, NO!"**

* * *

"Besides the meme, though, I have a little problem with this," Kec said.

Haunter raised an eyebrow. "Haven't you had a problem with this whole story?"

"Well, true, but I was meaning about that Machamp. If I remember correctly, earlier in the story it said that the collars disabled the Pokémon's abilities."

"True," Haunter said. "So, what of it?"

"Isn't a Machamp's pure muscle power it's ability?"

Haunter's eyes widened."That's right! And frankly, how would they get those collars around a Ghost type, anyway? They'd just pass through!"

"Exactly! Though, perhaps they have alternate methods for catching Ghost types, and maybe these types of collars only restrict their mental capacity and not their strength so they can perform manual labor and the like, but this is something that could probably be clarified at some point. I know that's not likely, but that would be nice."

* * *

 _two guards walked up to the struggling girls, and were about to put the same collers on them, before nixus spoke up."ehem, what are you doin?"_

* * *

"And that's another thing!" Kec exclaimed. "Why didn't those two have collars on them before? I mean, those two guys were obviously their owners by calling them their slaves, so they should've had collars like every other enslaved Pokémon!"

"But the collars also restrict their abilities," Haunter proposed, "so they could've taken the collars off so the battle would be more interesting. I mean, it even said Lucifilae was slightly scorched, meaning that Chilo had to have used some Fire type move on her before Nixus came along."

Kec stared at Haunter slackjawed. "Yeah, that does make sense! Er, thanks for that analysis."

Haunter grinned triumphantly. "No worries. You can get mad at this story all you want! I'll have your back!"

"Well, gee, th-" Kec's words halted as Haunter suddenly latched onto his back and started sucking on his head again. Sighing, Kec decided to just let it happen and continue with the story.

* * *

 _the guard on the looked at him, before raising a grenade launcher that nixus had not noticed, and fired at him._

* * *

"Wha-?" Kec held out his arms, shaking them violently for effect. "How could he have not seen a grenade launcher?! Those things are flippin' huge!"

"'Vot howivef?'" Haunter mumbled while still stuck on the back of Kec's head.

"What?" Kec asked.

Haunter let go of Kec's head. "I said, 'plot convenience?'"

"Oh, yeah, I guess so." Kec said, thankful Haunter was off of him again before returning right back to the story.

* * *

 _the gernade exploded, taking nixus's intire top half off._

* * *

 **G** **rug: "And DIE!" *splats red hand print on webpage***

* * *

 _his top half was in the air for a second, before being caught by a black tendril from his bottom half._

* * *

"Oh, don't tell me..." Kec said, groaning.

* * *

 _the tendril conected the two halves, and both tendril and wound dissapered._

* * *

Kec groaned loudly, which soon turned into a scream of rage. "Really, author? Instant regeneration on top of everything else you stacked onto this guy? Really?! This has to be _the_ most OP character I have ever seen! And a complete Gary Stu to boot, because being OP doesn't mean a bad character. Look at Saitama in One Punch Man. He's a total powerhouse who can kill anything in one hit, and yet he has emotional struggles because he's so powerful that no one can even touch him! Saitama has a very likeable personality. Nixus does not! He has no emotional conflict about his power, he doesn't care who he kills in his stupid sense of right and wrong, and frankly, I don't like his attitude! Oh, and where did that Flareon's personality and mind go, may I ask? He was there for like one chapter, and then he disappeared forever. Just like the Arcanine, just like the kid and hunter, and just like two chaps with the two hybrids Nixus killed because he didn't like their faces."

Haunter patted the seething Kec on the shoulder. "Er, you wanna take a break?"

Kec sighed. "Maybe in a bit. I gotta finish this chapter and the next, and I'll be done."

"Okay, if you say so," said Haunter.

* * *

 _nixus smiled, his claws enlongating._ _ **"YOU JUST F***ED UP"**_

* * *

 **Silver: "IT'S NO USE!"**

* * *

"Sorry about sensoring that last part, but I just really wanted to keep everyone's eyes from being scarred with more profanity," Kec said, shrugging. "Amazingly, though, there's only one more chapter before I'm done! So, let's finish up with this nightmare of a story for now!"

* * *

 _Nixus launched himself at the two guards and machamp, a plan building itself in his head._

* * *

"Hey, look! Capital letters are back after a bit of a vacation in the last chapter. How nice!" Kec said in a sarcastic tone.

* * *

 _He rushed the left guard, the one that shot him with the grenade launcher, and suddenly, there were two nixus's._

* * *

 **Judy Witwicky: "My God, they're everywhere!"**

* * *

 _The guard fired at the left one, and it disappeared. The real nixus shoved his clawed hand through the guard's head, killing him._

* * *

"At this point, I'd probably be booking it by now," Kec said. He then looked up thoughtfully and added, "Not that it'd do any good, anyway."

* * *

 _the other guard opened fire on nixus, which he just dodged with amazing speed._

* * *

"But what's the point of being immune to bullets if you dodge them all anyway?" Kec said, again sarcastically.

* * *

 _In the next second, nixus scored a goal with the guards head._

* * *

"Ah, so he plays soccer! Well, I can't think of a better way to get his head in the game!" Kec exclaimed.

Suddenly, a rotten tomato smacked him in the face. Unfazed, Kec said, "I don't regret that joke even one bit!"

* * *

 _He turned to the machamp. His grip was tightening on lucifiae and chilo's necks. Nixus disappeared and reappeared behind the machamp, right on his back._

* * *

"Oh, boy!" Haunter exclaimed. "I love piggyback rides!"

"You do?" Kec asked.

"Yeah! They're super fun!"

"But...how do you even hold-" Kec stopped talking when Haunter once again launched himself at Kec and latched onto the back of his head. "Oh yeah. That." Kec sighed before returning back to the story, the sucking sounds Haunter made audible as his poor victim continued.

* * *

 _Nixus grabbed the collar around the machamps neck, said device sending volts of electricity into them._

* * *

"When the story says them, it means the Machamp who's wearing the collar, Nixus, who's both holding onto the Machamp and the collar, and Chilo and Lucifilae, who's being choked by the Machamp," said Kec. "You know, just to clarify."

* * *

 _Nixus absorbed the thunder, and broke the machamps collar._

* * *

"But I thought Flareon had Flash Fire as an ability, not Volt Absorb. Or is this another one of those Gary Stu things? Honestly, I'm pretty sure the author forgot what Pokémon was used in this fusion, or that there was a Pokémon involved at all. All that matters is that Nixus is a bad*** and can do whatever he wants!" Kec sighed. "I don't know why I'm even trying..."

* * *

 _The pokemon screamed in pain, then fainted._

* * *

"Wow! That Machamp got off easy! Normally Nixus kills whoever he doesn't like. Maybe Nixus actually cares about Pokémon lives?"

After staying silent for about a second, Kec said, "...Nah, it had to be a fluke."

* * *

 _nixus looked up at the two poke-humans, only to see them unconscious. "son of a snivly.."_

* * *

 **Phantom Freddy: *gasps* "Profanity!"**

* * *

"But, seriously though," Kec said, putting on a serious expression, "what the heck is 'son of a snivly' supposed to mean? Does he mean 'Son of a Snivy?' What the heck does Snivy have to do with anything?" Kec shrugged. "Suppose it doesn't matter, anyway, as that was the last chapter for today!"

Confetti suddenly started raining down from above Kec. Kec looked up, confused. "Huh? What the heck?" The camera automatically moved up and spotted Haunter with a bowl of the colorful paper, grabbing a handful and throwing it over the Kecleon every couple of seconds. "Haunter, what are you doing?"

"Considering all the bad content in that story, I felt you deserved something as an achievement for finishing all of those chapters," Haunter said before continuing his confetti barrage.

Kec stared at him queerly for a second before shrugging. "Alright, I'll run with it. So, anyway, yeah! Today we finally managed to finish Chapters 5-8 of **the demon awakens.** And boy, that was an adventure in and of itself. We saw more powers on Nixus than Mega Man could ever hope to get, thrusting him more and more into Gary Stu territory, we met a couple of Pokémon hybrid gals that don't really make sense in my eyes, since I don't even know how much of them is human and how much is Pokémon, oh, and a lot more needless bloodshed just because Nixus is a very judging jerk. And that's not even touching on the fact that the grammar has barely upgraded at all. The most we got was that we finally see some capital letters getting some actual use at the beginning of sentences, but only sometimes it seems, and not much more anywhere else."

Kec sighed. "So, basically, it's another bad attempt at a story, but at least I'm seeing a little bit of improvement. That last chapter, while it was pretty short, was actually decently bearable, and the action sequences were written fairly nicely, though they could've been worded better, obviously. But, I am seeing improvement in this story, which I can at least admire that. Though, that doesn't change the fact that there's probably going to be nine more chapters of very badly paced story action ahead of me.

"But, for now, let's go back and do some quick reactions to the reviews I've gotten since my last chapter came out!"

* * *

 _Polariis Prime (Ch. 1): deTEMMIEnation!_

 _DO YOU WANNA HAVE A BAD TEMS?!_

 _*500 temmie quotes later*_

 _Amazingly unique story, I love Kec!_

* * *

 **Temmies: "hOI! u shud check out... TEM SHOP!" "yaYA! i AGREES! shud check... TEM SHOP!"**

* * *

"Heh. Temmies. They're so fun!" Kec said happily. "Always so crazy and random! Glad to see an Undertale fan running around here, getting all of my jokes! And I love the fact that you love me, which is highly appreciated!" Kec gave a final wink to the camera before going back to see what the next review was.

* * *

 _Polariis Prime (Ch. 2): "_ _Heck one of my best friends is a flareon, and he doesn't go around shouting about how fluffy his tail is._

 _Well... most of the time, anyway."_

 _~Kec 2017_

 _"YO LOOK AT MAI TAIL OOOOOO LUUK AT ITS THREE FOOT LONG. WOWZA!"_

 _Sorry I had too XD_

 _Anywho, As I say it again, really creative idea. Are both Kec and Haunter your OC's?_

 _P.S. Just a totally random coincidence, but I was listening to FNAF music (Don't judge me -.-) and was snuggling my pikachu snuggie..._

* * *

Kec leaned back in his chair. "Way to pick my words apart! Though, that sort of thing did actually happen once with Flare."

Haunter appeared surprised. "Really? When was that?"

Kec shrugged. "Eh, I took Flare to a salon one time to have a spa day, and let's just say that he never felt more floofier than he did at that point, so he ran around all day screaming how fluffy he was to everybody. Oh yeah, and at the end of the day, he ran around so much that he looked worse than he did going into the salon due to all of his sweat."

Haunter's eyebrows slowly raised up. "Wow. It sounds like that Flareon is either completely nuts, or is totally the life of the party!"

Kec shrugged dismissively. "Eh. Kind of both. Anyway, moving on with the review, thank you once again for complimenting my story like this, and while I have been around as an OC for a good bit now, I think Haunter is kinda brand new, a sort of unintentional OC I made for a one time joke."

"Hey!" Haunter shouted, frowning.

"Not that that's a bad thing, mind you! Heck, I was technically made unintentionally as well for a completely different Truth or Dare story a good while ago! So, I can relate to accidental character creation, such as what you had."

"Uh..." Haunter looked a bit confused at what Kec said, so he decided to just go with it, "...thanks?"

"Anytime! Anyway, moving forward with this again, there's no judging on this side for listening to some FNAF music! Heck, in chapter six on 'Five Nights of Truth or Dare at Freddy's,' I had a huge singing competition between the two groups of animatronics, where Golden Freddy sang 'Just Gold' from MandoPony and Mangle sang 'The Mangle' by Groundbreaking. There was a third performer in that competition, but she sang a different kind of song than the other two so I'm going to ignore it for now."

Haunter turned to Kec. "Hey, speaking of that, when are you going to-"

"Don't even!" Kec suddenly snapped, causing the ghost to jerk back. "I'll be getting to it soon, just not right now, okay?"

"Uh...sure..." Haunter said uneasily. He then cleared his throat loudly before saying, "I do envy the reviewer though. That Pikachu snuggie sounds both cute and cuddly."

"Yeah, I would agree, though Flare takes up both of those categories for me pretty well, so I'm good. Anyway, on to the next!"

* * *

 _Eon the Zoroark (Ch. 2): Well those were ten minutes of my life I've spent bleeding from my eyes._

 _But seriously the story itself was so bad in the beginning, I didn't even manage to read through your reviews. I had to skim through the chapter. And you are quite funny, let me tell you that, so it is a damn shame I had to skim._

 _Anyways, you're getting better and better. See you later._

* * *

Kec rubbed the back of his head shyly. "Yeah, sorry about that. And sorry to everyone else who ended up bleeding out of their eyes or any other place in their body because they read this story. I know I was on the verge of ripping my own eyes out because of how terrible this story was, but I'm still adamant to finish it up since I decided to start it. Still though, I appreciate the warm compliments and I'll keep working to further improve myself in the future!"

Haunter suddenly barged into view. "And now for the last one!"

* * *

 _FXCF (Ch. 2) (Sorry about the extra spaces): God, even when people split my story into sentences, it still makes me sick._

 _Anywho, you seem to not know latin, so i will translate._

 _umbra languo means "shadow fluff." so cringy._

 _mea femia is latin for "my lady"_

 _and finally, Nixullium umbra primogenitus-malum is a mix of latin and a made up pokemon word._

 _Nixullium means "unforgivable" and the rest means "shadow born evil"_

 _Yeah, reeeeaaal edgy._

 _Allthough, i did shorten it in the reboot, now it's only "nixullium umbra."_

 _[please check out the reboot, and critizise it. not you kec, but others. you got enough shit on your plate.]_

* * *

After managing to push Haunter out of the way, which he managed to do by utilizing his Protean ability and changing himself into a Dark type, he read the review and visually cringed. "Ouch! It's one thing to hear that a story is bad from some random schmo on the internet, such as myself. But when the actual author of the story comes and says it's a bad story, which is what happened here, then you know this is something extremely awful!

"And, to be frank, FXCF, I could give a flying hoot about whether or not these names and phrases mean something in Latin, just as long as they are real names, and are things people would legitimately say. I stand by my earlier statements about them. The names are ridiculous, the phrases make it sound like Nixus is flirting, and I just can't accept that. However, I will give you the credit of actually trying to put some effort into your names by using Latin, which is pretty unique. However, you kind of pushed it a little too far, in my opinion."

Kec leaned back in his chair, and after being silent for a minute, he finally shrugged with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Still though, I will recommend everybody check out the reboot of this story that the author created. It's bound to be loads better than this one, and I may or may not do a review on it later to compare it to this story. Because, let's be honest, it's _gotta_ be better than this one!"

* * *

"So, anyway, there's the end of my chapter!" Kec announced happily. "Sorry for everyone who's been waiting forever for this one, but with a story this bad, it's super easy to procrastinate on writing this. Heck, I even updated my Mystery Dungeon stories in order to prevent myself from reading this garbage, so if you wanna check that out, head on over to my profile and check them out!

"Now, you may be wondering what I'm going to do for the next chapter of this story! Well, that answer is fairly easy! What I'm gonna do is-"

Kec was suddenly interrupted by the door behind him slamming open. Behind the door, with his foot outstretched, was a purple Kecleon wearing glasses and a very irritated expression. "There you are!"

Kec looked behind him at the other Kecleon, surprised. "L-Leon! What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you! Come on!" He marched into the room and swiftly grabbed Kec by the tail. "We're heading back to Freddy's!"

"What?! Hey, no! Let go of me! I'm doing a thing here!"

"It's been almost a year since you updated your stupid Truth or Dare story, and it's time you get back to work on it! You left without any warning and now you're doing it!"

"No! Wait, stop!" Kec screamed as he started clawing at the carpet while Leon was dragging him out of the room. "Haunter, help me!"

Haunter stayed where he was, looking confused. "How am I supposed to help?"

"Grab Leon, scare him, do something!"

Haunter shrugged. "I can't touch Normal types, he looks way too mad to be scared. Plus," a smile began to creep onto Haunter's face, "this is super fun to watch!"

"You jerk!" Kec snarled at him while holding onto the doorframe with all his might, before he was suddenly pulled out of view. Kec's loud complaints could still be heard as it grew ever fainter until another door could be heard closing in the distance.

Haunter floated over to the camera, smiling as if nothing happen. "Anyway, thanks for reading this chapter! And I suppose you should watch out for that other Truth or Dare story as well, since Kec's gonna be there next time, I suppose! So, until next time, stay tuned for the next section of this story! See ya!" Haunter then reached over and turned off the camera, the screen turning black and thus ending the chapter.

* * *

 _Notable Mentions:_

 _Dragon Ball Z_

 _Lord of the Ring: The Fellowship of the Ring_

 _Family Guy_

 _Sesame Street_

 _JelloApocalypse_

 _Undertale_

 _SmashBits Animation_

 _If Undertale Had A Flirting Route_

 _Markiplier_

 _Pokémon Black/White_

 _Pokémon Sun/Moon_

 _Monty Python_

 _Pokémon (Anime)_

 _RGGodzilla_

 _Pokémon: Okam Journeys!_

 _The Princess Bride_

 _Rio_

 _Metroid Prime 2: Echoes_

 _Sonic The Hedgehog_

 _The Croods_

 _Transformers_

 _Five Nights at Freddy's_

 _5 A.M. at Freddy's: The Sequel_

 _Mega Man_

 _MandoPony_

 _Groundbreaking_


End file.
